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  • Afraid to Ask by Kathleen Osborne

    #

    Harry could feel the ring box slide up and down his leg in his pants pocket as he walked to his car in the parking garage. Tonight was the night. He’d gotten Susan, Abby’s sis […]

  • Hi Ana,
    Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Yeah, I am working on those. And thanks for letting me know your impression.
    Kathleen

  • David,
    I wish I was as good at proof reading my own things as I am at doing others. lol I hear exactly what you are saying….

    I will continue to persevere to catch those pesky errors. One day soon, I’ll find everyone one of them and severely deal with them. lol

    Kathleen

  • Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate it.

    Kathleen

  • Thanks Micaela,
    I know… it’s my dream house. lol
    Kathleen

  • I want to thank any and all who read my short story. Your constructive critiques are helping me grow as an author. They are something I truly treasure.

    Kathleen

  • HI Jennifer,
    Thank you for reading and commenting.

    I’ll working on making sure my characters dialog sound like two distinct people.

    You can go in models anytime the sales office is open… word count kind of hindered me on how to get that in. lol But get observation.

    Thanks again,
    Kathleen

  • Hi Chantel,
    Thanks for reading and commenting.

    One of my most difficult challenges in writing it tenses. So I truly appreciate you sharing. Now I can go back and update this and post it revised on my website when the contest is over.

    I’m just glad you enjoyed it, and weren’t too thrown off by the tense switches.

    Kathleen

  • Hi Estelle,
    Thanks you so much for reading and leaving a comment.

    Each comment encourages me to continue writing.

    Kathleen

  • Hi Michael,
    Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. I thought about Joyce helping her, then I remembered watching a show on telly where a young couple had fallen in love with a house and they were competing against someone who had cash. The cash buyers were also willing to pay more. They contacted the seller and shared their hopes and…[Read more]

  • Hi Catherine,
    Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. It means a lot. And yes, lol, I am working on the repetition and those pesky typos/etc.

    I would love to have a kitchen with a pot filler, which is a spigot at the back of your stove with a long arm that can swing out over any burner on your stove, above in pot you have there. Turn a knob…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much Bhavna! I appreciate your comments and couldn’t agree more about the happy ever after. I’m a bit a of an optimists and it always comes across in my writing.

    And those pesky errors…. grumbling here. I’ve had so many people edit it prior to posting and still missed some. But, I will catch them next time. So learning curve…[Read more]

  • Hi Amrita,
    Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. I couldn’t agree more. It is through hard work and sometimes a lot of tears that we achieve our desires. Which I think makes us treasure them so much more than when we are just handed them on a platter. The effort helps to give us ownership, and pride.

    Kathleen

  • Meg, thanks you so much!

    I’m so glad I gave you joy. This is the first time I’ve written anything like this… I am a new author – writing seriously for 10 months.

    And thank you for spotting those typos.

    Heck, I’m jealous too. That is the kitchen of my dreams. lol. I love to bake and it is so hard to do when you have inadequate counter space.…[Read more]

  • Hi Julius,
    and thank you for reading my story… AND giving me comments. I’m a new writer and I take any comments made seriously.

    Thank you for confirming the repetition, and find the typos.

    This story is half based on my son and his wife’s pregnancy issues, and a friend I’ve had for over 30 years… we tell people we are sisters from different…[Read more]

  • Thanks David,
    Sorry it took me so long to reply, I’ve had life happening. lol
    I can’t believe I missed that. I’ve had so many people looking at it, not too mention myself and completely blind to it.

    How do you catch these? Would appreciate any advice. I’ve been writing for 10 months, and maybe that’s my problem?? Inexperience? Will it ever go…[Read more]

  • ENVY by Kathleen Osborne
    #

    Joyce stopped mid-stride as she gazed at what was going to be Maggie’s kitchen when she said, “Damn, Maggie. You’ve just given me a severe case of ‘Kitchen Envy!’”

    Maggie danced arou […]

    • Well, I’m envious of that house and kitchen. I imagine anyone reading this will salivate at the descriptions of the house! Good job.

      Just one thing that jumped out at me was maybe too much repetition about “come upstairs and see the master bedroom …”.

      Good story and good friends story.

      • Thanks David,
        Sorry it took me so long to reply, I’ve had life happening. lol
        I can’t believe I missed that. I’ve had so many people looking at it, not too mention myself and completely blind to it.

        How do you catch these? Would appreciate any advice. I’ve been writing for 10 months, and maybe that’s my problem?? Inexperience? Will it ever go away?

        Again, thank you so much for reading my story and letting me know so I can be on the look out for something similar in the future.

        Kathleen

        • Kathleen; Your writing has a great tone to it. As for the little errors like repition and spelling- I try to be done early enough to give it a slow proofread (sometimes out loud helps) andthat catches many small boo boos! You are doing great! Keep writing. 🙂

          • Yeah- I know… I didn’t proof read and there are spelling errors… sheesh.
            HAAA

            • David,
              I wish I was as good at proof reading my own things as I am at doing others. lol I hear exactly what you are saying….

              I will continue to persevere to catch those pesky errors. One day soon, I’ll find everyone one of them and severely deal with them. lol

              Kathleen

    • Now I am jealous! Why can’t things like that happen to me? Except for two spelling mistakes I picked up and the repetition of ‘come upstairs’, I think it is brilliant. Keep on writing

      • Hi Julius,
        and thank you for reading my story… AND giving me comments. I’m a new writer and I take any comments made seriously.

        Thank you for confirming the repetition, and find the typos.

        This story is half based on my son and his wife’s pregnancy issues, and a friend I’ve had for over 30 years… we tell people we are sisters from different parents.

        Thanks again for your help!

        Kathleen

    • I was expecting tragedy at the end and got joy instead – that was a really lovely gift; thank you. The characters are well defined quickly. A few typos and a stray ‘a’ hanging in there but I thought it was a lovely story. I am sure Joyce is jealous though!

      • Meg, thanks you so much!

        I’m so glad I gave you joy. This is the first time I’ve written anything like this… I am a new author – writing seriously for 10 months.

        And thank you for spotting those typos.

        Heck, I’m jealous too. That is the kitchen of my dreams. lol. I love to bake and it is so hard to do when you have inadequate counter space.

        Again, thank you for reading and commenting. It means a lot.

        Kathleen

    • The others have caught the errors.

      I was waiting for Joyce to offer to make up the difference in price in exchange for the use of the kitchen occasionally, but your ending worked out better.

      Thanks for sharing, and keep it up!

      • Hi Michael,
        Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. I thought about Joyce helping her, then I remembered watching a show on telly where a young couple had fallen in love with a house and they were competing against someone who had cash. The cash buyers were also willing to pay more. They contacted the seller and shared their hopes and dreams for the house and how much they truly wanted it for a life time. Turned out the sellers sold to them. They wanted their home to go to someone who loved it more than anything. Hence the outcome.

        Kathleen.

    • Hi Kathleen,

      Wow! Some people have it all…but not until shedding their share of tears. A very enjoyable tale. Thank you for sharing!

      • Hi Amrita,
        Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment. I couldn’t agree more. It is through hard work and sometimes a lot of tears that we achieve our desires. Which I think makes us treasure them so much more than when we are just handed them on a platter. The effort helps to give us ownership, and pride.

        Kathleen

    • I love happy endings. I was expecting the envy to have a twist but happy ever after works in a world that seems to disappoint more often. Apart from a few minor errors, this story reads well.

      • Thank you so much Bhavna! I appreciate your comments and couldn’t agree more about the happy ever after. I’m a bit a of an optimists and it always comes across in my writing.

        And those pesky errors…. grumbling here. I’ve had so many people edit it prior to posting and still missed some. But, I will catch them next time. So learning curve time.

        Kathleen

    • Hi Kathleen
      Others have pointed out the repetition and I am sure you are working on that.
      I enjoyed that the story had a happy ending, sometimes that is all we need. You told of a special friendship and I liked how you twisted the plot that the only really envious person was the reader. Joyce is a real true friend and although she has pangs of envy she just wishes Maggie the best.
      PS What is a pot filler?

      • Hi Catherine,
        Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. It means a lot. And yes, lol, I am working on the repetition and those pesky typos/etc.

        I would love to have a kitchen with a pot filler, which is a spigot at the back of your stove with a long arm that can swing out over any burner on your stove, above in pot you have there. Turn a knob or hit a switch and hot water flows out of the pipe into your pot. That way you don’t have carry the pot of water to your stove. Now for them to invent a way to empty the pot so you don’t have to carry it to the sink after you cooked in it.

        Most cooks use this for pasta… but can be used for any thing that requires water.

        Kathleen

    • Well told story with lovely twists and turns.
      Good job.

      • Hi Estelle,
        Thanks you so much for reading and leaving a comment.

        Each comment encourages me to continue writing.

        Kathleen

    • Hi Kathleen
      This is such a lovely story, and I was so thrilled with how you chose to end it. There are not enough stories with endings like these (not that I do much to fix that myself, haha). I do agree with the repetition issues, but I’ll also point out the inconsistency in your tense. You jump from past tense language to present tense language here and there. Try to pick one and keep it consistent throughout. Otherwise, good job on this one. I so enjoyed it.

      • Hi Chantel,
        Thanks for reading and commenting.

        One of my most difficult challenges in writing it tenses. So I truly appreciate you sharing. Now I can go back and update this and post it revised on my website when the contest is over.

        I’m just glad you enjoyed it, and weren’t too thrown off by the tense switches.

        Kathleen

    • I thought it was interesting in the way wove the story about the pregnancy and buying the house together. Good descriptions and vivid details.

      I did get a bit confused trying follow the dialog even though you used the dialog tags. The two woman sounded very much alike. It would be helpful if their voices were different.

      It may be picky but I don’t think you’re allowed to go into house if the sale isn’t closed. Was the owner still living there or was it empty? It just struck me as odd.

      Nice work.

      • HI Jennifer,
        Thank you for reading and commenting.

        I’ll working on making sure my characters dialog sound like two distinct people.

        You can go in models anytime the sales office is open… word count kind of hindered me on how to get that in. lol But get observation.

        Thanks again,
        Kathleen

    • I want to thank any and all who read my short story. Your constructive critiques are helping me grow as an author. They are something I truly treasure.

      Kathleen

    • Ana replied 1 month ago

      Hey Kathleen,
      thanks for sharing an uplifting and human story, it reads very well and the dialogues are engaging. Other people here already pointed out the same little hang-ups I noticed so I know you’re working on them. Overall my impression was good, thank you for sharing!

      • Hi Ana,
        Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Yeah, I am working on those. And thanks for letting me know your impression.
        Kathleen

    • Nice story – I was waiting to hear that Joyce had gazumped her out of jealousy, but instead there was a happy ending… much nicer!! The house sounded amazing

    • Thank you all so much for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate it.

      Kathleen

  • Hi Naila,
    What an incredible and very real accounting. For someone whose first language it not English you have done a marvelous job.

    Your writing engages the reader from the ‘get go’ and doesn’t let go of them until the end.

    The only challenge I saw was ‘spacing’ between sentences. And I know that can be a ‘copy and paste’ issue. Double check…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much Randy!

  • Thanks so much India! So glad you enjoyed it.

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Kathleen

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@kaosborne1

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