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  • Thank you Darryl for reading and I appreciate your feedback, thank you for taking the time in reading my work.

  • Hi Ismael, thank you for the feedback and I am so sorry for the late response. I am working on that part as English is not my 1st language, I would love to be able to “show” my readers what I want to point out, thanks a lot!

  • Hi Stevie, sorry for the late reply. Thank you for reading my work and for the feedback, happy that you liked it! If you have the time, you can read my work for June prompt, this July story is a sequel. Thank you again!

  • June and Ron – Not a Love Story (Part 2 ) by Robelle CT
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    I stepped into the old, shabby house where it reeked of the smell of anguish and pain. The furniture looked disordered like someone broke into the house […]

    • Ooooh I thought she was dead! Nice twist there at the end, and I like that your descriptive writing is rich and expresses all the emotions, such that dialogue is not missed at all. I feel kind of sad that this is their final goodbye especially because of the way you described the love story, but I understand his anguish. Thank you for sharing

      • Hi Stevie, sorry for the late reply. Thank you for reading my work and for the feedback, happy that you liked it! If you have the time, you can read my work for June prompt, this July story is a sequel. Thank you again!

    • Hi Robelle,
      I can see where your story has interesting potential. Lots of impacting events in here with a twist at the end. I can only suggest to learn more about using ‘Showing’ words in your work more than the ‘Telling’ words.
      Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your work. 🙂

      • Hi Ismael, thank you for the feedback and I am so sorry for the late response. I am working on that part as English is not my 1st language, I would love to be able to “show” my readers what I want to point out, thanks a lot!

    • I like those stories which feature a little sting in the tail, or is is a sting in the tale…?
      Lovely. Looking forward to reading more.

      Darryl Morris

  • Hello Kathy, thank you for reading! I am working on my pronouns, prepositions and other parts of speech to get these right. Just to share, in my mother tongue, we only have one word that we use as a pronoun for both genders, so that is where my issue is coming from, glad you pointed it out, I will do my best again next prompt, thanks a lot!

  • Hi Del, thank you for reading my work. I am working on improving my vocabulary to be able to write better, glad you saw the flaws – I saw them too – and the dictionary is my BFF now 🙂 I will try to use the next prompts to continue with their stories, thank you very much for your time and feedback I really appreciate it.

  • Hi Natalia, thank you for reading my work, your feedback is very valuable! I will try to make part 2 with the next prompt, thank you for reading!

  • The baby bawled in June’s arms as they entered the living room. She figured that he was hungry and needed to be nursed, but she was shaky and tired. There was a single lampshade switched on at the corner and […]

    • Whoa! Fantastic story. Very gripping and engaging. Please make a part two 😁 I wanna know what would Ron’s response be to this.

      • Hi Natalia, thank you for reading my work, your feedback is very valuable! I will try to make part 2 with the next prompt, thank you for reading!

    • Wow – I cannot believe that English is your second language – there are one or two words that don’t quite fit and you could find better words to use instead but this is a really good story.
      It would be good to hear two more stories -one telling the story of the mother of the baby, and one telling Ron’s story. (and maybe,later on, another 3rd story telling the story or the baby as he grows up).
      Editing is not difficult but writing a readable story is a talent that you definitely have. Well done. Great title too – got me interested straight away.

      • Hi Del, thank you for reading my work. I am working on improving my vocabulary to be able to write better, glad you saw the flaws – I saw them too – and the dictionary is my BFF now 🙂 I will try to use the next prompts to continue with their stories, thank you very much for your time and feedback I really appreciate it.

    • Good story! Just enough foreshadowing that the reader has suspicions, but still feels the suddenness of the ending. The only mistake that I noticed was “her” in a couple places where it should be “him.” Otherwise, an excellent effort and very brave to write and share work in a second language.

      • Hello Kathy, thank you for reading! I am working on my pronouns, prepositions and other parts of speech to get these right. Just to share, in my mother tongue, we only have one word that we use as a pronoun for both genders, so that is where my issue is coming from, glad you pointed it out, I will do my best again next prompt, thanks a lot!

  • Thank you for reading my work, Ana. I’m working on writing love stories/romance. I appreciate your feedback, this is my second try on a love story. Thank you!

  • She was rushing to unpack. Only three hours had passed since she arrived at the city where she grew up, daydreamed, and fell in love. Her heart pounded loudly against her chest as she checked herself in the […]

    • What a sweet story, Robelle. And finally one with a good ending. I was feeling for her all along. It’s a simple and universal story, sometimes more effective than obscure ones, it makes it pure and to the point. It put a smile on my lips. Thanks for sharing!

      • Thank you for reading my work, Ana. I’m working on writing love stories/romance. I appreciate your feedback, this is my second try on a love story. Thank you!

  • Thank you for reading I appreciate it; the protagonist saying they’d get a green bag is a remark towards what the town leader said earlier in the story, that citizens who didn’t vote for her would get less relief goods–the green bags. The protagonist knew she’d get a green bag because she didn’t vote for that town leader last election. I guess…[Read more]

  • We were a small group of people in our mid-twenties, gathered by some officials to help out with the relief goods. When I was recruited, I felt like half of my problems would be solved by the income I´d get as a […]

    • Really enjoyed it. However, I am confused. You were expecting a box each of ratio due to the pandemic. Did you get 2 boxes, 1 box or none? The brown box contents were getting distributed between the blue and green bags. Were these bags going to be given to the residents? You end with hoping to get a green bag.

      Also, just a recommendation instead of “pointing to the brown, large boxes” try “pointing to the large brown boxes” as it flows a little better.

      Thanks for sharing.
      Shae

      • Thank you for reading I appreciate it; the protagonist saying they’d get a green bag is a remark towards what the town leader said earlier in the story, that citizens who didn’t vote for her would get less relief goods–the green bags. The protagonist knew she’d get a green bag because she didn’t vote for that town leader last election. I guess the word count challenged me in getting that across, Thanks so much for your time I appreciate it.

    • Thank you for your story – it’s so relevant for our times. It brings to light the dilemma facing donors during any crisis – Are the right people getting the assistance? I think you have captured the angst of a mother very well. Her backing out was a good show of courage and hope. My favourite line: This pandemic was not enough to melt hearts made of stone’.

    • This is a poignant and timely story, the loss if work and income as well as the divisive political partisanship. What is less clear to me is her leaving. Did she leave because the mayor was treating her followers better than others, whuch is what it seemed to me, but then she didn’t appear to be in a position to hold that moral ground, given her situation and her child? Word count issue? The writing is lovely and you certainly brought her world to life.

    • A very poignant story. I hadn’t even thought about this type of pettiness happening in the world right now, but, unfortunately, I suppose it is.

      I do feel that the opening paragraph is a bit more telling than showing. You could try opening with the paragraph that starts, “¨Good evening,¨ the town leader said” and fill in the background through the rest of the narrative as the MC wrestles with her decision.

      I’m also a little unclear about why she chose to leave in the end. Was it a moral issue? I felt like that could have been spelled out a little more. Even with getting a green bag, she would also be getting 1,000 pesos which would help, so I’m unclear on the conflict.

      Overall, a powerful story and beautifully told. Looking forward to reading more from you.

  • Hi Marta, thanks for reading my story, appreciate it, I’m actually from Manila, Philippines. Jarvis has been a character that I’ve been building on for a little while now. Thanks for your feedback I’m glad you like the story.

  • Thanks for reading, I am happy that you got hooked with the story and read til the end, thank you!

  • Thanks for reading, that means a lot to me, I will then make many more romantic fiction, thank you!

  • Oh my, thank you for reading, yes I’m from the Philippines. I appreciate your feedback and I’m glad that you like how the story turned out, I’m new to writing romance.

  • I tried everything but nothing worked in the past few months. It seemed like I was under the spell of a sleep fairy and she didn’t spare me any mercy. I moved to another country as advised by my doctor brother and […]

    • Hi Robelle?

      ok – I did struggle with the English and grammar, but it did not detract from a fresh, original story and I really enjoyed this.
      I had in my mind a guy and a girl – and the twist that the author was a woman put a different spin on it . But what I really enjoyed was the local flavour you gave the story – are you from the Philippines ? it read as very authentic.
      I also enjoyed the conflict that you wove into the characters’ interaction, the misunderstanding and confusion and am glad that it worked out for them in the end – a good love story at its heart.

      well done!

      • Oh my, thank you for reading, yes I’m from the Philippines. I appreciate your feedback and I’m glad that you like how the story turned out, I’m new to writing romance.

    • I enjoyed your story, and the romance was real. Perxonally, I didn’t notice too many grammar mistakes. Your first romance story with a great plot twist.

      Thanks for sharing. Majories is a common name here in Ireland

    • Interesting. At the start I thought the protagonist was a woman and gradually, given the name Jarvis, decided it must be a man. So well done on that. Certainly a story you might want to polish at some point since there is so much here. Nice job!

    • Your English is coming along quite well. Great story. I too thought the character was a woman and was thrown by the name “Jarvis”. Turns out Jarvis is a woman! How clever. Are you still in Ontario? I live in Niagara. Hello neighbour!

      • Hi Marta, thanks for reading my story, appreciate it, I’m actually from Manila, Philippines. Jarvis has been a character that I’ve been building on for a little while now. Thanks for your feedback I’m glad you like the story.

    • Hi Robelle,

      Like the previous comments I was also confused with the genders. I first thought two females, then changed when you mentioned the name Jarvis, then was completely surprised that Jarvis is female. Well done – interesting story.

  • Thank you Becky, the setting was where I’m from, and HR jobs don’t pay a lot, thank you for reading my story, I’m happy that most of you liked it, thanks for letting me know that my story fit with the prompt, thanks again.

  • Thank you Stacey, I’m planning on continuing her story with the next prompt that will be most applicable, thanks for reading I appreciate your feedback so much.

  • Thank you for reading your feedback is very helpful to me, I will do my best again next prompt.

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Robelle CT

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@justrobelle027

active 5 days ago