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  • Crying comes after laughter. Well written. Keep going.

  • Enjoyed your humour. Well done!

  • Like most fairy stories there is something to learn. Excellent.

  • Maybe it is better to leave things unsaid. How differently could your life turn out. Thanks for a story I think many people reacts differently to.

  • What I wish I said by Julius De Smedt

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    I was looking at my wife, playing the organ. We were married twelve years. Twelve marvelous years. Did we have the perfect marriage?

    I remembered the day a friend […]

    • Shoh – made me think! A lot of introspection – do I sense some biographical element? A brave and sincere account of a broken heart. Well done.
      Some little tense mistakes, but I’m the last to comment on that – as my piece flew out without proper editing! Just to be careful jumping between present and past:”The book I choose did not predict anything. 
      Another powerful lesson I learned on this forum is to rather show than tell – a concept that took me a long time to grasp, but it lifts one’s writing to another level

  • Jealousy by Julius De Smedt

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    “Gee, Cindy, these results are amazing! How do you do that?” Ronnie scrutinised the report a second time, shaking her head. “Absolutely amazing.”

    Cindy shrugged her shoulde […]

    • Julius, good story. I like the lab setting – it’s something different.
      If i may suggest something – in my humble opinion, the rhyming names (Cindy, Lindy) are a little distracting and they make the story more flat. i know we all already struggle with making the story fuller with the word count restriction 🙂
      Keep it up!

  • Mica Cruz and Profile picture of JuliusJulius are now friends 1 month, 2 weeks ago

  • Seems you have experience of the situation. A good story to make a person sympathise with people with the disorder. Well done.

  • The emotion is strong. Well done with a good story

  • Good story that could end in different ways. Keep on
    writing.

  • Now I am jealous! Why can’t things like that happen to me? Except for two spelling mistakes I picked up and the repetition of ‘come upstairs’, I think it is brilliant. Keep on writing

  • Yes, I appreciate your comments. I was not able to put my thoughts the way I intended. Need to practice on that skill

  • Julius commented on the post, Newness by Anthony 2 months ago

    Easy to judge until you stand behind the same door. Nice story

  • How often do we misunderstand because we have our own interest at heart. Great reminder

  • Strange the effect of situations many years ago can have on a person’s behaviour. It can create so many misunderstandings and sadness. Great story

  • It is good to know families can still stay together, misunderstood or not. I enjoyed your story. Keep going

  • Misunderstanding by Julius De Smedt

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    The big ship looms in the dark, so close it almost crashed into them. The ship’s Captain waited for the man in black uniform to get from the ship onto his. They met a […]

    • My goodness, Julius, what a ride! It seems the story circles back on itself, that the meaning is somewhere behind the meaningless of it all. All these fantastic characters and their wonderful quirks, yet they all die and the reader is left wondering ‘why?’ I suppose the reader’s confusion is intentional, but there are some ways you could tidy this story up to make the meaning clearer. Some editing suggestions:

      • Tenses are sometimes mixed e.g. ‘The big ship looms in the dark, so close it almost crashed into them’
      • Igor/ Ivan – are these two characters? Nicknames for Iganovic?
      • ‘Only two deaths,’ ‘two shots,’ ‘two men misunderstood’ – this is the point we seem to be circling back on but I’m still not quite sure what it means
      • All he, Ivan, had to do, was to fall backwards over the rail -> ‘All Ivan had to do was fall back over the rail’
      • The red and green car scene was confusing, I’m not sure who got killed and who drove away 
      • Coffee at a coffee shop – tautology
      • The Ober Commandant seems to come back at the end when I was expecting a general and colonel to be talking. Isn’t he dead?
      • Everybody thinks they know it all, meanwhile they don’t have a clue of what is really going on – apt

      I’ve spent some time on a ship in the past and therefore found the line ‘They met at the stern’ somewhat irksome. The man in black uniform would more likely have taken a pilot boat to the gangway of the ship if these are large vessels.

      I hope these suggestions help! Overall, I like the mystery and intrigue of this piece. I think it says something about the ineffability of life.

      • Yes, I appreciate your comments. I was not able to put my thoughts the way I intended. Need to practice on that skill

  • Thank you for a very special comment. I appreciate it tremendously.

  • Julius commented on the post, Ode to Ann by Julius 3 months ago

    Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it

  • Can be the start of a novel. Great story

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Julius

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