fbpx
  • Haha, thank you Zoltan! I wanted to get into the escape more but yes, 300 words is very tough to make that a proper event. Thanks for reading!

  • Hi Renee, glad you liked the imagery. Thank you for reading!

  • Hi Catherine! Thank you for reading! Glad the sinister feeling came across ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Haha, your comment is very nice and oh, if only I had a time machine ๐Ÿ˜‰ Yes, 300 words for an escape scene is tricky… you’ll see what I did with it soon! Hope I don’t disappoint you. Thank you for continuing to follow along Zoltan!

  • Hi Renee, I’m happy that you could figure out between the ANAs, but yes, I agree, I’ll need to work on making that clearer. Also, I saw that you friend requested me a little bit ago but I can’t find the request in the system anymore. I think it’s because of Mia cleaning up the system recently. Anyway, I’ve friended you instead, hope it goes…[Read more]

  • Kit, we need to get out of here before The Company figures out that Iโ€™ve broken out of their Evaluation Protocol! Kit?!Silence.ย Oh no, I guess this means I really am awake now. Wish me luck, Kit.ย The hospital bed […]

    • Very sinister, moving along nicely even in this shorter prompt. Waiting for next month with anticipation. Great job.

      • Hi Catherine! Thank you for reading! Glad the sinister feeling came across ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Nice response to the prompt. Fun imagery to give personality to Teacher-Nurse Kagi.

    • I was thankful for the 300 words limit when I wrote my story, but now I wish there were more. I still can’t get used to this cliff I am hanging on in the past few months. Well done!

      • Haha, thank you Zoltan! I wanted to get into the escape more but yes, 300 words is very tough to make that a proper event. Thanks for reading!

  • Ismael and Profile picture of hanzo047hanzo047 are now friends 2 months, 1 week ago

  • hanzo047 and Profile picture of Catherine GardenCatherine Garden are now friends 3 months ago

  • I love fairy tales and yours did not disappoint. I really appreciated that Rupert is a more modern kind of prince and that his compassion and honesty to his values are what got him to find his true partner. Wonderful job! Thank you for sharing.

  • Hi Estelle, great story! I felt Lilly’s frustration with her mom throughout the whole thing and to contrast her feelings with her daughters’ experience was a great way to heighten them even more. I wish the mom got to explain her feelings at the end though – it was such a great buildup and then Lilly just seems to forgive her so quickly, without…[Read more]

  • Oh wow – this was such a gripping story from beginning to end. I loved how it just throws you into the scene and you figure out, little by little, what seemingly happened to her. I felt so much sympathy for Marible. The little twist at the end was a great surprise too! Wonderful job and even more so because it’s your first time. Please keep writing!

  • hanzo047 commented on the post, Tick by Riana N. 3 months ago

    I’m so glad I chose your story! Like one of the other commenters said, it does have a fairytale like quality to it. You also have a beautiful arc in such a short amount of space. (Also – yay kittens haha) I don’ t know if it’s because you named him “Uncle Roon” but he reminded me of Uncle Iroh from Avatar the Last Airbender. (If you haven’t…[Read more]

  • Hi Catherine, thank you for your feedback and taking the time to read! They were all good points – I need to figure out how to identify the different ANA’s more obviously, since (I’m going to bet) there will be others we’ll meet in future stories. Thank you so so much for following the story!

  • Thereโ€™s a brief silence. A rustle of papers. Then the gurney starts moving again. Whoever has taken over has incredibly quiet feet. Or just really forgiving footwear.ย 

    The gurney, with no such footwear, makes a […]

    • Wow. A lot going on here. You definitely amped up the tension but lost me a little near the end with the different ANA’s as I was not always sure who was speaking. However I do like how this moved on and all the details in the examining room, I wonder if coloured pens would be hi-tech enough for use in this environment? But understand you used this as a tool to move the story along. There are many moving parts to this fascinating tale and you ended on another great cliff hanger. I look forward to the next one. Well done!

      • Hi Catherine, thank you for your feedback and taking the time to read! They were all good points – I need to figure out how to identify the different ANA’s more obviously, since (I’m going to bet) there will be others we’ll meet in future stories. Thank you so so much for following the story!

    • I thought this was an interesting part of the story. A scene that’s all in Ana’s mind. I myself did not have trouble following which Ana was talking, but I can see how someone might get confused. Looking forward to seeing what happens next!

      • Hi Renee, I’m happy that you could figure out between the ANAs, but yes, I agree, I’ll need to work on making that clearer. Also, I saw that you friend requested me a little bit ago but I can’t find the request in the system anymore. I think it’s because of Mia cleaning up the system recently. Anyway, I’ve friended you instead, hope it goes through! Thank you for reading and for your feedback!

    • Tense and action-packed as always, even if it’s all a dream. I’m looking forward to the 300 hundred words escape scene. You already brought in some red lips, it won’t be an issue for you, I bet. Now I’m sure you looked into the future and read all the prompts of 2020, years ago, so you had a lot of time to plan ahead the whole series. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Haha, your comment is very nice and oh, if only I had a time machine ๐Ÿ˜‰ Yes, 300 words for an escape scene is tricky… you’ll see what I did with it soon! Hope I don’t disappoint you. Thank you for continuing to follow along Zoltan!

  • Gahh what a wonderful comment to get! Thank you so much for reading Zoltan!

  • Alas, I was worried it was more “tell” than show. Oh well, always room for improvement. Thank you for taking the time to read and give helpful feedback!

  • Thank you for the feedback Jennifer! I’m working on my dialogue and your comment is very helpful. And yes, I realize I’ve veered a bit into info dump territory… I’ll work on it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Oooh, yes, it’s fun to play ‘what-if’, right? Thank you Julius!

  • Load More

hanzo047

Profile picture of hanzo047

@hanzo047

active 1 week, 2 days ago