• really good use of language to bring hillbilly jill to life as she is meant to be…..loved the line about getting grease and soil under ’em nails…….i think your imagery is good enough in ‘showing’ us she is doing donuts and perhaps you don’t have to ‘tell’ us…..good work

  • those doughnuts were burned to a crisp….some like them that way…..good pace of story, i felt i was in the driver’s seat the whole way….nice work

  • a really neat take on the prompt……and an ejoyable read….the kid is beyond his years in bargaining with his lawyer father and you made me feel the father’s frustration…..the last three lines were classic.

  • terrific story….i could really ‘see’ the personalities of the pregnant mother and also the father in the words you’ve chosen…loved the ‘manual aircon’ and the surprise ‘spin’ at the end….well done.

  • this was the hardest prompt yet and you have taking it to the ‘farside’ and provided me with a chuckle…..really good visual of juliette’s cherry pink lips ( i see a donut there)….

  • a really great read……..put me right into the fight scene of the Westside Story between the jets and the sharks…….and the weapons right out of the pantry…….good visual of the frenchtoast (and it tying into the prompt).

  • this is terrific….all your donot descriptives personified in the new guy….what a chuckle. Great last two lines ending with ‘what a crumb’……a real tasty treat to read….enjoyed it immensely.

    Just a thought…..I’m thinking you don’t have to tell us she does a ‘doughnut’ in the parking lot…you make that obvious in your word choice.

  •             It was a time of loneliness and much fear.

                A virus circled the globe, sweeping up tens of thousands of lives in its path.

                People confined to isolation yearned for compa […]

    • Hi Glen,
      Yes, a doughnut can bring a smile to a young boy’s face. I enjoyed your story. The end of the epidemic is something to look forward to. 🙂

      – Ismael

    • This was great! I really enjoyed this and I too look forward to when things normalize. Fiction meets current affairs. Nicely written.

    • Hi Glen, I love your take on the doughnut prompt with the eclipse but also the focus of your story on events that bring people together to relieve their isolation. Thank you for sharing.

    • Aww that is an adorable ending. The mind of a child is amazing. The story was great and a wonderful use of the prompt.

    • Nice piece that builds to a great ending. I do hope young Rudy’s eyes are ok 😉 Thanks for writing and sharing.

    • Hi Glen. I loved this. The way you highlighted the positive things people were doing to stay connected and feel hope. I especially loved the innocent little boys comment at the end:) Just perfect. Thanks for sharing.

  • nice work on this…….you had my attention all the way….i smiled at the three story house with a wife and family on each floor and i chuckled out loud at the slap.

  • i really like the sweetness of your story and the lesson Jacob learns through his experience……great choice of vocation for Jeremiah….that grabbed me for some reason…as did the holey socks…good stuff

  • and the story continues…..will tomorrow’s prompt allow us more? Nice pace on this one. I like her falling asleep exhausted……A peace offering…is that all the jerk thinks it will take to make ammends……you go Debs.

  • really liked your story of hope….and, yes, let’s hope we all come out the end for the better of our world. In my neighbourhood, i’ve seen messages painted on rocks by the creeks and chalkings on driveways….but you have one-upped that by having a balladeer of love songs wandering the the street……well done.

  • what a great love story……really liked the visual of the buttery lotion and your wording for the sweet humble response to end the story.

  •            Freddie was the laughing stock of his hometown, living under the ever-condescending eyes of the more fortunate.

                His intellectual disability and anxiety attacks haunted him throughout his y […]

    • Wow Glen, absolutely haunting and moving. It has the same heart for me as the classic children’s short story ‘The Little Match Girl’. Thank you for sharing and keep on doing so!

    • This is beautifully told and absolutely heartbreaking – and then he gave the ultimate gifts by being an organ donor! Lovely take on the prompt. Thank you so much for sharing! – Rachel

    • What a haunting tale you wove. Such a powerful message too, about judgment and kindness. Well written!

    • Beautiful tale.
      So sad.

    • Very moving and sad story. Isn’t ironic that with death we can give the gift of life to others. Well done.

    • Hi Glen this is so moving and so well told. I love the pace of it, and I love how you make onlookers assume he was down and out without considering his circumstances. It is a good heart that bets in the other man’s chest. Lovely.

    • Nice story. I would ask that you put more emphasis on the fact that he was an organ donor. I missed that in my first read. I interpreted the last line as he always saw the world through a young boy’s eyes and the homeless man always had the heart of a child. It was my mistake, but I saw what you were trying to say during my second read. Maybe I am the only one that read it that way. Thanks for sharing.

    • This is really beautiful. “What’s essential is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one sees rightly,” are the words of The Little Prince. If only we all looked with our hearts. Your story reminds me of a John Prine song called Louise…they all said Louise was not half-bad….

  • Great stuff, Maria. I felt the chill, loved the protagonist’s name and the vision of the living, breathing thought breaking through, releasing the gift…..your warning of ‘horror’ didn’t take me too hard as it unfolded (and that’s good by me)…very enjoyable read.

  • you give the reader a great ride……sometimes truth (where we can’t deviate) can be better than fiction. Really like the line where the carpet became a turkey trot. Nice work.

  • nice work, i was with you all the way…..liked the idea of the coffee can (unique) and the sweetness of the senior who, initially i thought was going to be arrogant but was actually doing good for others……nice ending

  • good stuff here…..i could feel the elite mingling in the room…..love the line about mouths mumbling into neighbours shoulders, it’s a greart visual…….great humourous ending

  • good work in leading us up the garden path and into the house for the rant and then the…. oops…. near-confession…..dostoevsky would chuckle.

  • just when you think you’ve made it with a litte spare money in your pocket, the foundation rumbless and cracks.

    The scene of her sitting cross legged on the floor surrounded by bills and the line about the tub for two as well as the email being found between quotes from two plumbers….all create nice visuals for the reader…Yes Pete has…[Read more]

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Glen Benison

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