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  • My heart stopped with each sentence as it drew me in. I know how it feels not knowing what to do and searching for something to get us out. I was intrigued until the very end!

  • Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate it! Yes, I have a habit of waiting until the last minute and skim my writing without throughly checking it.

  • Thank you! I have a habit of doing it at the last minutes so as I’m typing things get missed. I wanted to keep the vampires a mystery until the end.

  • They are children, but since they’re vampires their much older in personality. Since they are a family of vampires the parents are there too even though some are kids are older.

  • Thank you!

  • Very elegant writing! Great job!

  • I love this poem and how you portrayed the hard days. I suffered with depression and I never wanted anyone to feel the pain I felt or to feel they had to suffer with or be with me. I wanted them to live their lives and enjoy their happiness, allowing me to recover and join them instead of them joining me in my suffering. Such a short and sweet…[Read more]

  • EsterS28 commented on the post, Relax by Halimah Aliyu 1 week ago

    I like this poem! When I find relaxation and peace while everyone is asleep. It’s the best time of day!

  • Thank you for the feedback. Whilst wouldn’t make sense in the the context of this poem. It’s not two separate lives, one winning and one losing. It’s two people who love each other, but never voice it. She loves him so she holds on to that love and doesn’t try to give her heart to someone else, she keeps it for him. He loves her, but he found a…[Read more]

  • The comma is the separation of the two sentences. Thank you for the feedback!

  • Thank you so much!! I appreciate it!!

  • Thank you! I appreciate it!

  • In The Silence by EsterS28

    #
    I lost, but you were the one winning.
    The light that shone in my darkness.
    If only I could start at the beginning.
    The silent hints of love, but never quite reaching that boldness.
    I […]

    • Deryn replied 2 weeks ago

      Hi Ester this is very sad and brave – to walk away head held high when your heart is breaking. The rhyming isn’t too contrived and so doesn’t intrude. One or 2 suggestions, instead of ‘but you were the one winning’ what about ‘whilst’ instead of ‘but’? Just a thought. ‘As I’m remind of your sweet soul’ should read ‘reminded’ and ‘as your with your new love’ the first ‘your’ could either be ‘you’ or ‘you’re’ (but I prefer just ‘you’) I’m not sure I would have used linger and longer in the one line, it’s a little cliche but maybe ‘dwell’ although that’s old fashioned – what about ‘I won’t hold you back any longer’? All just suggestions, sounds like I’ve hijacked your poem, which I actually really liked!!

      • Thank you for the feedback. Whilst wouldn’t make sense in the the context of this poem. It’s not two separate lives, one winning and one losing. It’s two people who love each other, but never voice it. She loves him so she holds on to that love and doesn’t try to give her heart to someone else, she keeps it for him. He loves her, but he found a new love so he is winning but she is losing because she is still holding on to the love she has for him. Yes, it should be “reminded” and “you’re.” I didn’t proofread it, because I wrote it at the last minute and put it up. Some have different opinions so I understand how you see it as cliche, but I find it works for me as it.

    • Ester-I like the way you worked the rhyme, and especially like the way you dropped it as the narrator’s hand was dropped. And as Deryn already said, it’s a very brave attitude.

    • I really applaud the bravery of one who realises their feelings arent reciprocated and walks away with their dignity intact. It takes courage and it is akin to mourning,which you touch on.
      Nicely ,and astutely expressed

    • Hello Ester, I like the way your end of line rhymes don’t dominate the poem. They are subtle. I think you could separate your last line into two, to make a couplet: ‘Even though it’s not with you / I allow my light to slip away to be found anew.’ Thank you for sharing.

      • The comma is the separation of the two sentences. Thank you for the feedback!

    • Hi Ester, honest and filled with the onslaught of defeat, you capture the fizzing out of a romance perfectly. I won’t comment further on the your/you’re but I did want the lines that end ‘longer’ and ‘moment’ to rhyme… not sure why, but felt it needed that, to tie the knot. I love how you continue to celebrate your ‘light’ regardless of your heartbreak. Beautiful!

  • If you read it carefully, in the beginning both are in pain and drawing it, but both wanted to be strong for one another so they didn’t say anything. The first person in the beginning is drawing, but acted strong as if nothing was wrong to hide the pain, but the second person was also in pain and drowning so person one didn’t didn’t need to hide,…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much!!

  • Hi! Thank you very much!! Yes, that’s usually always the biggest problem is no communication or lack of!

  • Hey!! Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! I’m so glad it came across to you! I never read it, I might have to check it out!

  • Thank you so much!!! I appreciate it!

  • Sometimes I Still Think of You by Ester

    #
    I can still hear your voice carry in the wind.
    I see you as I close my eyes.
    The memories we had weren’t always pleasant, but I never forgot how it felt loving you. […]

    • Wow, I can feel the pain in your years of regretful silence. Thanks for sharing.

    • Aching regret comes through. What I might have chosen doesn’t matter–it’s not my poem. The words you used established the mood I think you wanted. One small thing: “When you knew I was the one drowning too” seems self-contradictory–how can you be “the one drowning” and also be “drowning too”? Doesn’t “too” imply more than one? Just something to consider. Well done.

      • If you read it carefully, in the beginning both are in pain and drawing it, but both wanted to be strong for one another so they didn’t say anything. The first person in the beginning is drawing, but acted strong as if nothing was wrong to hide the pain, but the second person was also in pain and drowning so person one didn’t didn’t need to hide, because the person at the end was also drowning. They’re both hiding their pain for one another, but at the end the second person wanted to be there and help, but the first person didn’t want help and wanted to pretend to be strong. The ending is why pretend to be strong when the one by your side is also drowning? We always want to hide our pain to pretend to be strong but others around us are in pain too. Instead of hiding and pretending to be strong, we should allow others to be there for us, because we are all hurting and not one person is perfect. Instead we should all help each other.

    • Hi Ester this is very poignant and what a sad misunderstanding if only they had communicated better.

      • Hi! Thank you very much!! Yes, that’s usually always the biggest problem is no communication or lack of!

    • Nice expression of feeling and situation

    • Hello Ester. The pain the narrator feels at the loss of their loved one is very evident in your poem. I’m not exactly sure why but it brought to mind Stevie Smith’s famous poem ‘Not waving, but drowning’, one of my all-time favourites. Thank you for sharing.

      • Hey!! Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! I’m so glad it came across to you! I never read it, I might have to check it out!

    • Hi Ester, a raw poem full of questions and pain. Well done and thanks for sharing.

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EsterS28

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