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  • Continued From:Part One – M & MPart Two – Jealousy Makes You EvilPart Three – Can You Keep A SecretPart Four – It’s A dateLorenzo had to admit, after tossing and turning the entire night, that he woke up the next […]

  • Thank you for reading.
    I will definitely work on your comments about detail. One of my weaknesses.
    Input much appreciated.

  • Well told story with lovely twists and turns.
    Good job.

  • Jealousy Makes You Evil by Estelle Westley

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    Continued From

    Part One – M & M

    “Do you have a place to stay while you are here?” Mae asked as they sat on the beach watching the tide come in. “You are more than […]

    • This story had me riveted. They were friends, but now one is angry with the other and passive/agressive while the other is agressive. They start out so nice! Well done. The only thing that caught my attention was that I wanted more detail in some areas. For example:

      You could have given me an example of lovely (live plants on tile trivets), minimal (large space to walk around the sleek pale blue sofa) or view (of the waves crashing up against the pier).

      Mae’s home was just as lovely inside. Very minimal but very tasteful and the view from the huge windows in the lounge just perfected the feel.

      Keep up the fabulous writing!

  • Thanks for the read.
    Much appreciated.

  • A very real life story.
    My heart goes out to the Mom.
    Thanks for this – it was lovely.

  • I was told that one of the rules of short stories is: The writer should use the time of a stranger in such a way that he will not feel that his time was wasted.
    I loved every minute of it and it is not even a genre I normally would read.
    Thanks for that.

  • Hi Astrid,
    I am not sure if it was the word count that got me in the end or that I have a continuation of the story in mind that threw me.
    I still have loads to work on but thoroughly enjoying all this.
    I really appreciate the read and input.
    Thanks

  • M & M by Estelle Westley

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    “You have to eat your ice-cream before it melts if you buy it in cone form. I think you should have ordered yours in a cup!”

    Startled,  Mae was brought back to the present. She felt […]

    • Hi Estelle, I felt I was thoroughly enjoying your description of this beautiful and strong friendship forged between two talented young women and then, bam. I was thrown into the nasty web of betrayal and deception woven by Megan and Henry, Mae’s closest people in her life. I must admit I got a little lost in the narrative at that point, maybe because I was expecting more emotions and thoughts from Mae. I commended her strong and assertive character and cutting them out of her life without much effort on her part. The end surprised me even more when Mae decided to resume the friendship with Megan as if nothing had happened. Maybe it’s just me. Thank you for sharing a story that kept me on my toes and is still rattling my mind on “life isn’t complicate, it’s us that complicate our lives”. Astrid

      • Hi Astrid,
        I am not sure if it was the word count that got me in the end or that I have a continuation of the story in mind that threw me.
        I still have loads to work on but thoroughly enjoying all this.
        I really appreciate the read and input.
        Thanks

    • I enjoyed reading your story. If I had been betrayed like Mae was, I wouldn’t have been so kind, and I would have been sobbing. I’m not sure I would be as quick to forgive Megan as Mae was. It feels like there is more to come with this story. Thank you for sharing.

    • Nice full story. All the elements are there. I got caught off guard by the ‘deal’ that had been made behind Mae’s back. Perhaps a bit of foreshadowing, would have kept me on edge to see what happens, versus being a bit confused. However, once I got back on the story line, I enjoyed it. That bourbon…. 🙂 I am not sure I would have been so kind either … but one never knows.
      Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it.

  • I never think nitpicking.
    There is always something new I learn each month.
    Much appreciated that you really read thoroughly.

  • Thanks for reading.
    Much appreciated.

  • Thank you so much for reading.

  • My Solace by Estelle Westley
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    The days are filled with terror and noise. You hear bombs and gun shot fire. You smell the stench of blood and fear.

    When night comes you were thankful that you are still alive even […]

    • This is such a soulful story. I really enjoyed it and love the feel of it. It’s sad, but more than that there is a sense of finality that reaches out from within these lines. I think that it’s really well-written and you have done a great job. I can’t think of anything to add. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

    • Thank you so much for reading.

    • Hi Estelle,
      Well written scene about emotion and memory. A memorable little short story. Thank you for posting it.
      Thia

    • Thanks for reading.
      Much appreciated.

    • Beautiful concept Estelle, very touching indeed.

      However, allow me to point out that La Vie en Rose wasn’t written till 1945, so perhaps you could have chosen another song, e.g. “J’attendrai”. And it’s “loses” not “looses”. Hope you don’t think I’m nitpicking – just some constructive well-meaning crit.

    • I never think nitpicking.
      There is always something new I learn each month.
      Much appreciated that you really read thoroughly.

  • I stayed with the story all along and really enjoyed the end twist.

    Well done.

  • Love the title.
    Good story.
    Well done.

  • Thanks for the read and the input.
    I sometimes battle with the word count when I get lost in the writing – hence this ending.
    I wanted more words to work with.

  • Lilly looked down at Jake’s still handsome face. He lay on his back, knees pulled up, eyes closed, and just a hint of a smile touching the corners his mouth.

    They had opened a bottle of Chardonnay to enjoy with […]

    • Hi Estelle, great story! I felt Lilly’s frustration with her mom throughout the whole thing and to contrast her feelings with her daughters’ experience was a great way to heighten them even more. I wish the mom got to explain her feelings at the end though – it was such a great buildup and then Lilly just seems to forgive her so quickly, without any explanation. Anyway, I still really enjoyed it! Keep writing!

    • Thanks for the read and the input.
      I sometimes battle with the word count when I get lost in the writing – hence this ending.
      I wanted more words to work with.

  • Thank you for the feed back guys.
    Always appreciated as I learn.

  • As far back as I can remember, Grandma Bailie never wasted anything.

    I loved her with all my heart and spent every moment I possible could with her because she had so many beautiful stories to tell.

    She lived […]

    • What a lovely story. This strikes me a memoir from the POV or that sense of it. I love the switches between the generations and how the hopes for the future in the last generation are expressed. The reflection of the making the bread and how something new and perfect has finally come to pass after the hardships seen before is wonderful. Thank you for such a delightful moment. Keep going! – Otter

    • I think the sentiment of the story is lovely and we can definitely learn from our mothers and grandmothers. I had a grandmother just like you and think of her wise words every single day. I do think with a little bit more effort in your descriptions and transitions and applying more “show don’t tell” your story can be elevated. There are wonderful lines (her parents made her account for every penny spent and every moment lived) and I was looking forward to more of them.

    • Thank you for the feed back guys.
      Always appreciated as I learn.

  • Thanks for reading and comments.
    Much appreciated.

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Estelle Westley

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