This story had me riveted. They were friends, but now one is angry with the other and passive/agressive while the other is agressive. They start out so nice! Well done. The only thing that caught my attention was that I wanted more detail in some areas. For example:

You could have given me an example of lovely (live plants on tile trivets), minimal (large space to walk around the sleek pale blue sofa) or view (of the waves crashing up against the pier).

Mae’s home was just as lovely inside. Very minimal but very tasteful and the view from the huge windows in the lounge just perfected the feel.

Keep up the fabulous writing!

Hi Estelle, I felt I was thoroughly enjoying your description of this beautiful and strong friendship forged between two talented young women and then, bam. I was thrown into the nasty web of betrayal and deception woven by Megan and Henry, Mae’s closest people in her life. I must admit I got a little lost in the narrative at that point, maybe because I was expecting more emotions and thoughts from Mae. I commended her strong and assertive character and cutting them out of her life without much effort on her part. The end surprised me even more when Mae decided to resume the friendship with Megan as if nothing had happened. Maybe it’s just me. Thank you for sharing a story that kept me on my toes and is still rattling my mind on “life isn’t complicate, it’s us that complicate our lives”. Astrid

I enjoyed reading your story. If I had been betrayed like Mae was, I wouldn’t have been so kind, and I would have been sobbing. I’m not sure I would be as quick to forgive Megan as Mae was. It feels like there is more to come with this story. Thank you for sharing.

Nice full story. All the elements are there. I got caught off guard by the ‘deal’ that had been made behind Mae’s back. Perhaps a bit of foreshadowing, would have kept me on edge to see what happens, versus being a bit confused. However, once I got back on the story line, I enjoyed it. That bourbon…. 🙂 I am not sure I would have been so kind either … but one never knows.
Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it.

This is such a soulful story. I really enjoyed it and love the feel of it. It’s sad, but more than that there is a sense of finality that reaches out from within these lines. I think that it’s really well-written and you have done a great job. I can’t think of anything to add. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

Thank you so much for reading.

Hi Estelle,
Well written scene about emotion and memory. A memorable little short story. Thank you for posting it.
Thia

Thanks for reading.
Much appreciated.

Beautiful concept Estelle, very touching indeed.

However, allow me to point out that La Vie en Rose wasn’t written till 1945, so perhaps you could have chosen another song, e.g. “J’attendrai”. And it’s “loses” not “looses”. Hope you don’t think I’m nitpicking – just some constructive well-meaning crit.

I never think nitpicking.
There is always something new I learn each month.
Much appreciated that you really read thoroughly.

Hi Estelle, great story! I felt Lilly’s frustration with her mom throughout the whole thing and to contrast her feelings with her daughters’ experience was a great way to heighten them even more. I wish the mom got to explain her feelings at the end though – it was such a great buildup and then Lilly just seems to forgive her so quickly, without any explanation. Anyway, I still really enjoyed it! Keep writing!

Thanks for the read and the input.
I sometimes battle with the word count when I get lost in the writing – hence this ending.
I wanted more words to work with.

What a lovely story. This strikes me a memoir from the POV or that sense of it. I love the switches between the generations and how the hopes for the future in the last generation are expressed. The reflection of the making the bread and how something new and perfect has finally come to pass after the hardships seen before is wonderful. Thank you for such a delightful moment. Keep going! – Otter

I think the sentiment of the story is lovely and we can definitely learn from our mothers and grandmothers. I had a grandmother just like you and think of her wise words every single day. I do think with a little bit more effort in your descriptions and transitions and applying more “show don’t tell” your story can be elevated. There are wonderful lines (her parents made her account for every penny spent and every moment lived) and I was looking forward to more of them.

Thank you for the feed back guys.
Always appreciated as I learn.