• CHAPTER 45

    Like anyone who has had a rough time and is in pain, the future at three in the morning always looks bleak. The monsters under the bed come out to play. They like the dark. They like misery even […]

  • THANK YOU! That’s the impetus to keep going if nothing else is!

  • Hi Monica, Yes, they did catch the mystery assailant, he’s currently in the cellar:
    Between the two of them, Fred and the chauffeur soon had the man immobile. It didn’t stop him from struggling against them. That is until the gardener – Alfred? No, Alfred was the dog – lifting a shotgun to within two inches of his face said, “That’s enough. W…[Read more]

  • Hi Monica, Apparently holes in hands heal fairly quickly depending on how they’re made. Small saplings would heal quicker than a knife for example. According to the doctor I checked it with. I plead first draft for excessive abuse. Lol. I need to draw up a timeline and see exactly how the days work out for his injuries. In the early chapters I…[Read more]

  • Eva- Maria! Whoohoo, love reading your weekly comments! Yes, you’re right about ‘now’. Will fix that. And the pathetic line.
    To answer your question about the Uncle and the Aunt. All my maternal aunts and uncles and paternal uncles died a while ago. I only have one paternal aunt left, so we refer to her as ‘the Aunt’. She’s also quite a forceful…[Read more]

  • CHAPTER 44I was now more wide awake than ever and straining to hear any sound from outside. The footsteps slowed, walked past and faded away.It must have been Fred. Dependable, conscientious Mr Harley Davidson. […]

    • Hi Elaine! Highly enjoyable scene – again. Although it poses more questions than it answers. I wonder who the violent stranger was. How clever of the enemy to use the recording to lure John out and how “Boy’s Own”! Now they’ve captured him, maybe they can get him to talk…
      I think there’s one ‘now’ too many in your opening sentence. Also “Honestly, how pathetic I could be?” needs your attention.
      I also have a question: I noticed you always have John talk about ‘the Uncle’ and ‘the Aunt’. I wonder why. As a non-native speaker I would say “my uncle” or “my aunt” or “Uncle This” and “Aunt That”. Would you mind explaining?

      • Eva- Maria! Whoohoo, love reading your weekly comments! Yes, you’re right about ‘now’. Will fix that. And the pathetic line.
        To answer your question about the Uncle and the Aunt. All my maternal aunts and uncles and paternal uncles died a while ago. I only have one paternal aunt left, so we refer to her as ‘the Aunt’. She’s also quite a forceful character. It’s a family habit.

    • GOSH, how many more physical injuries can John take? I imagine if this was a movie, he’d be all purple and bruised, a splint here, a bandage there. So, did they catch his mystery assailant? Wasn’t sure but I guess we’ll find out in the next scene? I wonder if we might benefit from John’s point of view and all the physical injuries he’s had so far (didn’t he have a hole in hand, too?) I’d have given up a lot sooner if it were me — his fortitude is amazing. Perhaps have him waver just a teeny tiny bit? Other than that, I loved it.

      • Hi Monica, Apparently holes in hands heal fairly quickly depending on how they’re made. Small saplings would heal quicker than a knife for example. According to the doctor I checked it with. I plead first draft for excessive abuse. Lol. I need to draw up a timeline and see exactly how the days work out for his injuries. In the early chapters I mentioned how he was an outdoorsman (camping, canoeing, running, wildlife photography etc) in the hopes of trying to give him some of that fortitude you mentioned. I thought I had had scenes of him internally bitching and complaining, but perhaps not, or perhaps not enough? Something else I’ll have to check once the first draft is done. His fortitude is important for the last 2 chapters of the book which I wrote last night. Yes, I’ve jumped ahead. I needed to know the ending so I could write the intervening chapters. Don’t worry I won’t post out of sequence. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

      • Hi Monica, Yes, they did catch the mystery assailant, he’s currently in the cellar:
        Between the two of them, Fred and the chauffeur soon had the man immobile. It didn’t stop him from struggling against them. That is until the gardener – Alfred? No, Alfred was the dog – lifting a shotgun to within two inches of his face said, “That’s enough. We don’t want to wake the neighbours.”
        The bastard stilled when he cocked the gun.
        “Bring him inside, gentlemen. The cellar, I think.” Mr Pritchard, who had followed in the chauffeur’s wake, turned to me. “Are you alright?”

  • Well done, Mark. A great story and the Extra Challenge. This was very fast paced, it read well and left me wanting to know what happens next.

  • Thanks for the birthday wishes, Georgiana, and the Extra Challenge story! It was an evocative story. I knew right away that Devon and Bobby were never going to end up together, but I still found her pretty callous at the end. If that was your intent, it worked a treat.

  • Whoa, clearly it’s been ages since I last visited your 52 Scenes story. Is this the same MC you started with? The one who needed a signature? I think the last time I read he and another nurse were sitting on the top of the children’s jungle gym? I apologise for having not read more of your story. I enjoyed this episode. Reading it as a…[Read more]

  • Hi Monica, This was a richly visual scene. I could feel the sweat in the air. Everything was so real. Well done.

  • Hey Eva-Maria,
    The description of a Grand Visier with a mane of untidy, frizzy grey hair, bushy eyebrows that looked too heavy, and tufts of silky hair growing out his nostrils made me laugh. What a great description! Well done.

  • Ah. With all the weird place names in Britain, it’s a huge leap to think there could be a place called Skin Full. Probably located near a brewery and next door to Alcoholics Anon, hey? 😀

  • Hi Becky,
    Thank you, my birthday was very chilled. I’m glad you liked my story! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Hi Monica, Thank you. That’s such a lovely compliment. No, he wasn’t drugged, Just had a hectic day, some hot cocoa, in a warm, comfy bed and drifting off to sleep. You know that moment just before you sink into real sleep and you hear a noise?

  • Hi Eva-Maria! I had no idea when I wrote it. LOL. Took me a while to figure it out. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for following me and commenting so often on my story. I love that and am so grateful.

  • LOL. What were you googling specifically? Thanks for reading and for the compliment! Glad you enjoyed it.

  • I’m glad you popped by to read as well, Adam! I’m delighted you enjoyed my story so much! Thank you for all your very kind comments.

  • Hi Mara, Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, I did want readers to think he was looking at the lake and then to realise it was the ship. I deliberately didn’t use spaceship as I was hoping for a gradual realisation that these were aliens.
    A dog collar is the white strip of collar priests wear. It identifies them as a priest. Here’s a link…[Read more]

  • There was no sky. Only a pale reflection of last night’s blue moon, flat and corpse-like on the horizon. There were no swallows slicing the cold air with their midnight-black, knife-edged wings. No shoals of c […]

    • Hi,
      There are so many exciting new ideas in your story that I had to read it twice. The first mistake I made was to imagine a ship, as you would imagine in the sea, every time you used the word ship. On the second read I now understand that the shape which was floating is describe as a ship, but that it is not in fact in water:-) My second mistake was when it was described that the MC put on a dog collar, that perhaps the pov now moved to the dog:-) I now assume that it is used as a metaphor to describe becoming a follower… Either someone just accepting orders instead of living their dream. The third mistake I made was to Google words I did not understand instead of finishing reading the story first 🙂 So well done for being so inventive to have created new words for the story. The tie up between the start and the end was done in a genius way, by using the scenery and noise as a way to move the reader where you wanted them to be. I might read this story again just because I enjoyed it so much. I do have a question about the age of the dog and tie in, as the dog and person were both young and aged together in the story – which my mind is asking questions about :is it a dog with special powers, or the puppy of the original dog, or how was it done. Damn I like a good scifi. Thank you for sharing.

      • Hi Mara, Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, I did want readers to think he was looking at the lake and then to realise it was the ship. I deliberately didn’t use spaceship as I was hoping for a gradual realisation that these were aliens.
        A dog collar is the white strip of collar priests wear. It identifies them as a priest. Here’s a link you may like: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerical_collar To ‘put on the dog collar’ means to become a priest. He’d found a new vocation. Rather than becoming an engineer and potentially building weapons of destruction, after the war he instead became a priest.
        I’d love to take credit for inventing new words, but all the words in my story exist. Here’s the link I found for Skeanfu and skean teylor: https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/skin
        The MC and the dog’s ages…I confess I didn’t google how long border collies live. I should have. Let’s go with his long age being a result of having had the blue vapour inside him.
        I’m delighted that you enjoyed my story. Thank you!

    • Adam replied 2 weeks ago

      Elaine congrats – this is an outstanding piece of writing. I love the brilliant discombobulation you create at the outset, painting like a negative print with your words. Fantastic. The relationship between the dog and the narrator is so authentic – and the magical imagery that you create is vivid and only serves to drive the story forward. The resolution is perfect – set up with the frog treatment -and landed effortlessly (at least for the reader). I liked the conclusion and that the dog and narrator could age away together. Well done and so glad I popped by to read.

      • I’m glad you popped by to read as well, Adam! I’m delighted you enjoyed my story so much! Thank you for all your very kind comments.

    • Elaine you had me googling too. Thank you for putting in the link.
      As usual a great story from you.

      • LOL. What were you googling specifically? Thanks for reading and for the compliment! Glad you enjoyed it.

        • Skeanfu Tor. I was keen to find the location

          • Ah. With all the weird place names in Britain, it’s a huge leap to think there could be a place called Skin Full. Probably located near a brewery and next door to Alcoholics Anon, hey? 😀

    • Hi Elaine, I hope you had a great birthday! Good job with the extra challenge (both making and using it). I like how you use skin and sound and silence to help set the mood–and come to find out skin plays a prominent role here! Nice Sci Fi story you have here!

      • Hi Becky,
        Thank you, my birthday was very chilled. I’m glad you liked my story! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • I was nursing another whiskey.

    “He never told you about his parents,”

    It wasn’t really a question, but I replied anyway. “He told me his mother had died—”

    “True.” Fred nodded.

    “And his father was in the army a […]

    • Hi Elaine! Just when I think that everything is more or less clear, there’s another mystery. I wonder who is ‘stealing along on the path’ beneath John’s window now that Fred and Mike are established as ‘good guys’ (well, until the next twist, at least). Thank you so much for sharing this novel of yours

      • Hi Eva-Maria! I had no idea when I wrote it. LOL. Took me a while to figure it out. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for following me and commenting so often on my story. I love that and am so grateful.

    • Elaine: your writing is incredibly beautiful. I mean, so many gems like this: “The mists of sleep were creeping into my mind and within them a fox yelped, a pair of owls hooted in muted tones to each other.” Beautiful AND moves the plot along. Was he drugged? Even so, he hears an intruder! Well done, friend.

      • Hi Monica, Thank you. That’s such a lovely compliment. No, he wasn’t drugged, Just had a hectic day, some hot cocoa, in a warm, comfy bed and drifting off to sleep. You know that moment just before you sink into real sleep and you hear a noise?

        • Yes, now I understand. I cannot wait to find out WHO it is this time. Kit? Mike? I am really enjoying your story.

  • Load More

Elaine Dodge

Profile picture of Elaine Dodge

@elainedodge

Active 1 day, 16 hours ago
Short Story : 10
Poetry : 0
WTC : 0
52 Scenes : 39
Dialogue : 0
Flash Fiction : 0