• Thanks SM. Glad you enjoyed it.
    I think you’re reading too deeply into it. ๐Ÿ˜€ Just because someone is going to become a monk doesn’t mean they’ve lived a perfectly holy life before that, nor would it wipe out his memories of a previous life. Becoming a monk also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly perfect. Everyone is a work in progress. A warrior…[Read more]

  • Hi Michael,
    Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the compliments.
    Everywhere would have been somewhere that had never heard of alcohol until it was invented. Granted that it wouldn’t have been as late in the world-time-frame as my story suggests ๐Ÿ˜€ Wine and beer were drunk more (still are probably) than water as water was more likely to make the…[Read more]

  • Thanks, Bryan. I’m delighted you enjoyed it. The narrator was an old man who, at the time of the stranger’s appearing, was a kid talking about the effect the stranger had on everyone at the inn, hence the use of ‘we’. Thanks for your comments, seems more dialogue is a recurring request. Perhaps I should have written it more from an omniscient…[Read more]

  • Hi Chantel,
    Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I must admit I started out wondering if I’d reach the word count, now it seems I could have done with some more! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Thanks, Mark. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I take your point about more conversation. Perhaps less atmosphere and more talk would have been better.
    History, yes, but all a bit of a mash-up. The Abbey was based on Weihenstephan Abbey, a Benedictine monastery in Bavaria, said to be the world’s oldest continuously operating brewery. And Old Theakston…[Read more]

  • Thank you, Barbara! I appreciate your kind comments and am pleased you found it entertaining.

  • The door slammed open. Bits of masonry and ashy lime exploded in confused shards and small, distracted, smoke-like billows as the iron handle bit into the white-washed wall. Daisy, the serving wench, squealed with […]

    • An interesting take on the prompt! Very imaginative. You created the atmosphere well and the little injections of humour were entertaining.

    • Elaine a great tale well told in your neat tidy style.
      Loved the use of the prompt right at the end and the staleness of the drinking habits ran through the whole piece.

      I would have liked more conversation between the locals with the stranger who seemed to be the only one to speak apart from the innkeeper.

      Thanks for the bit of “History”

      • Thanks, Mark. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I take your point about more conversation. Perhaps less atmosphere and more talk would have been better.
        History, yes, but all a bit of a mash-up. The Abbey was based on Weihenstephan Abbey, a Benedictine monastery in Bavaria, said to be the world’s oldest continuously operating brewery. And Old Theakston was a vague reference to Old Peculiar, an ale made by Theakston, that appears in one of my favourite series of books. The name pays tribute to the unique ecclesiastical status of Masham as a โ€˜Court of the Peculierโ€™. So lots of ecclesiastical roots for the story!

    • Hi Elaine
      This is such an interesting story. I love how you took this piece of history and put your voice to it. I was quite captivated as I read and happy to have learned something. I do agree with Mark about maybe putting in more conversation and interaction between the characters, but all in all, well done.

      • Hi Chantel,
        Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I must admit I started out wondering if I’d reach the word count, now it seems I could have done with some more! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • I love a good piece of speculative fiction and this was awesome, I loved the way you brought the prompt around at the end with a clever twist. The line about when have men ever done anything with good sense was spot on. I would have like to get to know the main character a bit more, you say we a few times and I was unsure of who the narrator was exaclty. I loved the dialogue, I could really hear the words being spoken as I read each line. Well done.

      • Thanks, Bryan. I’m delighted you enjoyed it. The narrator was an old man who, at the time of the stranger’s appearing, was a kid talking about the effect the stranger had on everyone at the inn, hence the use of ‘we’. Thanks for your comments, seems more dialogue is a recurring request. Perhaps I should have written it more from an omniscient narrator’s pov like I did with my story, ‘Not My Type’ which I think was longer but had even less dialogue.

    • This was cool, I was imagining a typical inn from Lord of the Rings. I like your description of the visitor and the assessment of the people inside the tavern โ€“ very sharp. Interesting idea this. Canโ€™t say Iโ€™ve ever read a story or of a place that didnโ€™t know what alcohol was. If you think about it, this monk was bringing evil to the town. 😉

      • Hi Michael,
        Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the compliments.
        Everywhere would have been somewhere that had never heard of alcohol until it was invented. Granted that it wouldn’t have been as late in the world-time-frame as my story suggests ๐Ÿ˜€ Wine and beer were drunk more (still are probably) than water as water was more likely to make the general population sick. Water treatment to take our impurities being a fairly recent thing. (2000BC). Even then it wouldn’t have been used as much as it is today. And even after it was discovered beer and wine were probably still safer. So, as my monk says, it depends on the wisdom of the person drinking it as to whether it’s evil or not. You could say he was bringing health to the town?

    • Hi Elaine,
      I loved the clever, St. Ale! that was great- I always enjoy your wordplay- this one made me smile. I was a little puzzled by your main character- who seemed worldly but was joining an Abbey. He knew of violence, maybe because of his longbow, and he was angered when he was given “hot mellow” instead of alcohol. I kept looking for his reason for joining the abbey- he expounded on the beauty of alcohol and how much the people would enjoy it , especially if they learned to drink it with wisdom. But was that enough of a reason for him? I expected a more sinister reason because of his “wicked twinkle” and “curse of disgust” and imposing physical figure. In my mind, he was going to work with the monks to develop the alcohol and then leave and become a wealthy man who profited from the toil of others. Perhaps I’m a bit jaded and need a glass of wine to mellow out… I think your story was fun and I enjoyed the atmosphere you created.

      • Thanks SM. Glad you enjoyed it.
        I think you’re reading too deeply into it. ๐Ÿ˜€ Just because someone is going to become a monk doesn’t mean they’ve lived a perfectly holy life before that, nor would it wipe out his memories of a previous life. Becoming a monk also doesn’t mean he’s suddenly perfect. Everyone is a work in progress. A warrior becoming a monk is the background of Cadfael, the hero of Ellis Peter ‘s books which also became a TV series (although I think the casting was pretty poor). They are great books though and worth a read. Brewing alcohol was often one of the sources of income for abbeys in the past. For some it still is. The Weihenstephan Abbey, a Benedictine monastery in Bavaria, is a good example. It’s said to be the oldest continuously operating brewery in the world.

    • Hi Elaine,
      That is a point well taken about everyone being a work in progress. I will check out the books that you have recommended, I think I have heard of the tv series but I didn’t see it. Interesting fact about the brewery in Bavaria. Thanks for the clarifications, I appreciate it.

  • Thanks, Debbie. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

  • Elaine Dodge and Profile picture of KS HerrmanKS Herrman are now friends 1 month ago

  • Thanks, Amy. I think this only the 2nd kid’s perspective family-friendly story I’ve done on 12/12. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the compliments.

  • Thank you, Becky. So glad you enjoyed it.

  • Sure, Becky. As always the ultimate choice is with the author. I’ve found that short sentences are better for building tension which is what panic is. Long sentences are good for slowing things down.

  • Hey Becky,
    As you asked… See below. I’ve put in the grammar I thought it needed. Words I thought would have helped are in brackets. I’ve also removed words I felt slowed down the narrative. You had a few very long sentences which, especially for Jen, and Carol when she’s panicking, didn’t ring true. These are suggestions only. Please feel…[Read more]

  • Hi Becky,
    Great story, it picked as it went along. There were some grammar issues at the front that kept me out of the story for a while. Really enjoyed the whole Moby Dick thing. Carol really is a Bridgit Jonesalike.

  • Hi Paul,
    Cute story. Thanks. I was a tad confused about the ‘grandmother-in-waiting’. I thought for a while that what they found inside Ellen was a baby but then it was clear that it wasn’t. Loved Mutley. Loved the change of voice at the end, but couldn’t figure out who asked, “What’s on the agenda?” There’s a couple of places where punctuation…[Read more]

  • Thank you, Nsbnina! So glad you enjoyed it. Leaving readers happy and hopeful is a good sign. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Hi Amrita,
    I’m so glad you enjoyed my rather rushed story. Writing on deadline day, AGAIN! I am seriously thinking of expanding the story. Accent? There’s an accent? Interesting that you read one in it! It’s set in the 50s in North America (probably Canada) if that helps.

  • An absolute pleasure, Kaiser! Thank you for your kind comments! Glad you enjoyed it. Great thoughts about his imaginary friend possibility!

  • So glad you enjoyed it, Deryn. Yes, I feel both agendas and dragons are going to cause little Davie headaches for a while as he tries to juggle the two. ๐Ÿ˜€

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Elaine Dodge

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active 1 week, 2 days ago