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  • “Why?” Christopher could make no sense of this. Neither, apparently, could Callie, but she was too tired to care.“I don’t know. We were only there for about an hour, by which time he seemed to have fully recover […]

  • Thanks Estelle. It needs some refining but I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

  • Thanks, Renee. So glad you enjoyed it. What we think could be heaven, could indeed end up being hell, right?

  • Hi Eva-Maria,
    This was a great scene. I had the same concerns as Per. Also, he’s trying not to make any noise that would disturb the queen but is also throwing boots around? Hoping we find out more about the dragon mother and why she said help me and not help us, and why her children were dragons but she was in human form. All very intriguing!

  • So someone else may have been there after Raymond. Or Raymond was lying. Maybe it was the voice? It’s all building very nicely. Well done.

  • Oh dear, Raymond, Raymond, Raymond. What have you done? I have suspicions as to who the voice is. Can’t wait to see if I’m right. The tension was great, as were the two twists, the dialogue was great as well. My only thought was would Raymond go into that much detail with the voice? Perhaps it would be more logical if most of that section of the…[Read more]

  • I didn’t realise/had forgotten that Keira was a lawyer. Her sister is the archetypal student! I can see her so clearly! Well done. I agree with Patty that keeping the Arab sections to a minimum heightens the tension.

  • The letter is being hand delivered.

  • Hi Sandy,

    I found it a little odd that Maggie would leave the wills lying around and not locked away seeing as Edwards comes and goes as he likes in her house. The banter in the diner was fun, I agree with Julie. I’m looking forward to the road trip with the two old ladies. I’ve a feeling they will put Josh’s mother in her place!

  • Ah, a new Will, that is a great development! So glad to see Maggie continuing to be strong. I did wonder at Randall Wentworth asking Maggie if she went to Rock Lake High School and when she says yes, not pursuing it. Other than that, things are moving nicely now.

  • I agree, a lovely, gentle story! Well done!.

  • Aw, thanks, Estelle! So glad you enjoyed it. I’m behind in my reading of the teams work so will be catching up tonight!

  • Trick or test? Who knows! 😀 Thank you for reading and for your lovely compliments.

  • Thanks, Mark. I would have liked a much longer word count, but hey ho. Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Phew, all the changes are sorted. I feel better about this as a first draft now. I even added the nursing bits and the clue in the previous scene.

  • Thanks, Graham! So glad you can’t work it out! 😀

    It needs work, racing the deadline at 5 am can, despite the adrenaline rush, sometimes have its drawbacks. There are way too many ‘turnings’, ‘knees’ and misplaced sentences. Not to mention a sprinkling of incorrect tenses. I can guarantee I’ll be editing it tonight!

    Word count and a desire…[Read more]

  • CHAPTER 28“Perhaps they took another route, sir?” said Jasper.“That’s always possible. We have no choice but to wait, I suppose.”As the time slipped by, the two men, now standing on the pavement outside the hospi […]

    • Mystery mystery mystery…. Very good and so many red herrings. We can see Murray very clearly and you capture the period and class system superbly. I was a bit surprised that Christopher didn’t demand more information and accepted that he waits at the hotel..I’m trying to guess how Murray knows so much but I can’t work it out. Also would Christopher not interrogate Callie outside the car away from earshot?
      you leave the reader gripped by the story. So maybe Callie has to say something to prevent this happening .Well done.

      • Thanks, Graham! So glad you can’t work it out! 😀

        It needs work, racing the deadline at 5 am can, despite the adrenaline rush, sometimes have its drawbacks. There are way too many ‘turnings’, ‘knees’ and misplaced sentences. Not to mention a sprinkling of incorrect tenses. I can guarantee I’ll be editing it tonight!

        Word count and a desire to get to the not-so-quite-cliffhangerish cliffhanger meant I couldn’t flesh out the conversation in Murray’s office as much as I wanted. I actually had another cliffhanger but had to settle for this one as the one I wanted put me nearly 200 words over. I did want to emphasise the railroading and the sense that there was something happening that Christopher wasn’t privy to without repeating phrases like ‘go home’ or “I couldn’t say’. But it’s currently clumsy.

        Thank goodness I can tweak this first draft into better shape now that it’s up. All the tweaks make the next edit that much easier. (Which reminds me I have to edit the chapter before with the nursing bits to add in, and a rather large clue.)

        The only time Christopher is alone with Callie is in the train carriage, so there might be more conversation next week. I’m so glad you liked it. Especially glad that you find it gripping!

        • Phew, all the changes are sorted. I feel better about this as a first draft now. I even added the nursing bits and the clue in the previous scene.

    • What a mean trick the old man played on Christopher, or was it a test of sorts? More mystery. I felt Christopher’s frustration and wanted to choke Mr. Murray and Jeffries. Even Jasper seemed to know something and wouldn’t tell. The politeness and secrecy in in this scene is so very frustrating. This was a great scene full of tension. Can’t wait for the next scene.

    • I couldn’t wait for this week to see what had happened to the old man.
      Surprise – surprise.
      Lord Sly is a very wily old man but I think he has to be with a family like that.
      I’m also pleased he has such loyal friends and servants to look after him.
      I’m warming to him. 🙂
      Excellent scene.

      • Aw, thanks, Estelle! So glad you enjoyed it. I’m behind in my reading of the teams work so will be catching up tonight!

  • “Did you know the margaritas here are free?” Suzie squealed with delight as she flopped down on the sunbed next to her friend and travelling companion. A woman she’d known since junior school.

    “Oh, sweetie […]

  • Thank you so much, Sandy! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully, you’ll find today’s scene just as gripping. 😀

  • Hi Eva-Maria,
    Thank you! Yes, I agree this scene does need more work. I’m meeting up with a doctor tomorrow to chat about symptoms, what Callies would do etc as it has to be right for the scene but also fit into the plot. Some poisons the patient mustn’t be made to throw up as that would cause more harm, so I do have to chat to the medico…[Read more]

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Elaine Dodge

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@elainedodge

Active 7 hours, 56 minutes ago
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