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  • Dionne. I tried to read your story but there were ads covering most of it and I couldn’t get rid of them. Damn you Google ads! I did enjoy the bits I read and will try again later.

  • Thank you. I hope to write a bunch of stories with Chase Rourke in them. I couldn’t stop writing this and had to turn the tap off quickly.

    Dave

  • The Great Cattle Caper by Dave Jones#Chase Rourke, self proclaimed semi-pro sometime private detective was cruising down Highway 69 towards the fabled town of Central City. All his life people had talked about […]

    • I was really liking this story and i hope that you might continue it without the constraints of the word count so it could get the ending it deserved because you are right it ends very suddenly. not much you can do about that due to the word count but i think this story deserves it. Well written.

      • Thank you. I hope to write a bunch of stories with Chase Rourke in them. I couldn’t stop writing this and had to turn the tap off quickly.

        Dave

  • Good read! I enjoyed the characters and I felt like I was sitting in the room eavesdropping. The imagery I got from “She breathed out a shuddering heave.” was very real for me. Good job

  • Fantastic story. I enjoyed the portrayal of dementia and the mystery of the human mind. Very good imagery and the opening paragraph was superb.

    I’m kinda like Katy… I don’t really understand why Tish was angry at Katy knowing German and triggering a memory in Nina. It may just be me but the following paragraph didn’t really explain it for…[Read more]

  • OMG- you had me hooked at “Warning: sexual innuendo and foul language”.

    I LOVED this piece. I loved the erotic aspect and the tension in the relationship. Nice imagery with the green lights and green drinks and fits in well with St. Paddy’s Day.

    The mystery of the screwdriver in presented very well and I like that we are left not really sure…[Read more]

  • Yeah- I know… I didn’t proof read and there are spelling errors… sheesh.
    HAAA

  • Kathleen; Your writing has a great tone to it. As for the little errors like repition and spelling- I try to be done early enough to give it a slow proofread (sometimes out loud helps) andthat catches many small boo boos! You are doing great! Keep writing. πŸ™‚

  • Well, I’m envious of that house and kitchen. I imagine anyone reading this will salivate at the descriptions of the house! Good job.

    Just one thing that jumped out at me was maybe too much repetition about “come upstairs and see the master bedroom …”.

    Good story and good friends story.

  • Very well done. I liked discovering the ghost and her actions. I’m weird so I also read this on the comedy level and could see all the stuff happening to Luke as slapstick comedy. I know you didn’t write it that way and your way is perfect… I’m just strange. Look forward to more of your writing. Cheers
    DJ

  • Thanks for your comments. Glad you were entertained.because that is the end goal!I like your opinion. Perhaps I make things too obvious so I’m sure readers get the gist. In this case I would have had to come up with more words!!! HAAA.

    Thanks again.

  • Will There Be Peace In The Valley by Dave Jones
    #

    The stalwart group of Hoggs Holler locals were all geared up to put the finishing touches on the renovated schoolhouse project. The grand opening was tomorrow. It […]

    • Hi DJ
      I was so entertained by this piece, from beginning to end. I enjoy the direction you tend to in your stories, and I look forward to reading them. Your title is what hooked my attention, and you didn’t lose it. The only suggestion I can make is more of an opinion. That very last line, I would have just left it as ‘But there were those who cast a suspicious eye across the river.’ The last few words are redundant. Thank you for this story. Well done

      • Thanks for your comments. Glad you were entertained.because that is the end goal!I like your opinion. Perhaps I make things too obvious so I’m sure readers get the gist. In this case I would have had to come up with more words!!! HAAA.

        Thanks again.

    • Small towns and their historical museums! I have been on many school/cub scout trips- usually to either restored firehouses or restored one room school houses. This is accurate, if somewhat exaggerated! I love the take on the prompt!

    • That was a good chuckle. Thanks Dave. I’d recommend adding dialogue to bring the characters to life even more. There is so much to unpack here and so many scenes to explore that this could turn into a nice little novella. Well done.

  • Hmmmmmmmm – I wonder

  • Thank you. Editing points taken and I appreciate them.

    A Cornhole contest is pretty much a bean bag toss where competitors toss a bean bag at a slanted board aiming for a hole. The holes score different numbers. We all caaled it bean bag toss but I saw the name for this and had to use it!

  • Great dialogue and interesting plot. Makes me want to read more.

  • Wow! Very well written. I like that Katherine was the one to be in the wrong and achieved enlightenment. I was pleased to see Michael turn out to be a steady type.
    My favourite image is of Brady throwing the dog in the air and Honeybun (great name) barking and kicking in mid air… that was vivid in my mind.

    You get my award for being the first…[Read more]

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  • I forgot to mention that I like discovering new words and I had to look up biltong! In my neck of the world we call it jerky.

  • Wow. This is very smooth writing. I was sucked in by your teaser about the salad bible…HUH? I was not disappointed.

    Great writing. Loved the ‘mouthful of fizz’ and what a wake up for people who are teaching someone else – β€œstop being so smart, it makes me feel stupid!” .

    No suggestions. Just praise. Very wonderful piece! Thank you.

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David

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