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  • Love this. ❤

  • Very telling that the girl who needed a lunch token had all the belongings and the girl who’s mom had the shiny Audi was jealous because she didn’t have any belongings. Tells how different their childhood and especially their parents were. I was a bit confused with “curry every Friday” and then “Fish and Chips every Friday” until I realized that…[Read more]

  • I didn’t get it until he said “the other boys in my class,” near the very end and my heart went out to Finn. Well done. I feel for Finn. I thought he/she was just struggling with still wanting a childish party instead of a boy/girl one. But there is so much more. I hope his/her parents are understanding of what he/she needs.

  • Kathy,

    Is this the end of your story? I liked how all the pieces fit together. Nicole is obviously crazy, I mean who meets with a photograph weekly for visits and gives updates? The last part of your story had a lot of telling not showing but you did have a lot to explain. I really liked all the twists and turns. I hope they are able to prove…[Read more]

  • I really liked your story and both of your characters. I imagine this nervousness that Ethan is feeling is something that happens every time someone decides to come out to someone new for the first time. You really expressed the fear of rejection and anxiety of the unknown of how Tyler would react that Ethan felt. You also did a great job of…[Read more]

  • Freedom by Jennifer Bozarth#Finally let free to roamRunning to the storeEmerges like a vacationEnjoying the time aloneDancing and singing to tunesOnly person in the carMom is free!#Read Jennifer Bozarth’s work.Β 

    • O yes, mom’s will resonate to this! Free to go anywhere (even the store) on her own. Woo hoo! πŸ™‚
      D

    • Kim replied 1 month ago

      This made me smile – gotta take those gaps when you can! 🤗

    • Jane replied 1 month ago

      Hi Jennifer, I love it:) A great choice of poem genre as well. I can only imagine the freedom a simple trip to the shop and some alone time in a car must be after being in lock-down at home with children:) You have captured it beautifully. Well done.

    • Oh I remember those days as a single father. Yes, even a trip to the store was like a vacation. Great poem. πŸ™‚

    • Nicely done. I am sure many can relate to a tiny piece of freedom. Thanks for sharing.

    • Ha! vacation is the store alone! Love that it’s an acrostic too.

      • I did not even notice the acrostic! Wow. Thanks for mentioning that, Beth. I was wrapped up in the joy of escape, and completely missed that. Great observation.

    • Wow, the freedom after lockdown, or simply the freedom when the last chick goes to school. Whichever, it’s a great feeling. Never long enough, though. But it re-energises you so that you can face the family again. Thank you for sharing your poem.

    • Though my sons are grown and gone now, this brought me right back to the joy of freedom that even a trip to the store could bring! I remember well and your words bring it all back. Yay for mommy moments away from the hustle of children. I smiled at the end with a touch of sentiment in my heart. Well done!

    • Reminds me of a friend of mine who spent 9 hours alone at an outlet mall–and missed what the rest of us thought was the real fun–a few years ago. “You don’t understand what it feels like to shop without the rest of my family.” πŸ™‚

    • You had me at Mom is free! Delightful Acrostic.

  • Wow. Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback. This is actually a back story for a character I have had in my head for quite a while. Hoping maybe someday it’ll be part of a larger work.

  • “Who’s Bailey?” asks Dean, noticing his brother’s latest artwork.”No one,” Marcus lies, trying to cover the lettering with his arm even as he colors it in. He’s blushing despite himself.”Somebody’s got a crush, […]

    • Great story. I liked the dynamic of the story (Dean becoming both parent and brother) and Marc trying to hide his first crush. There are some powerful themes here; the story has massive potential. As a note, I’d have liked a bit more on Bailey as he was the object of Marc’s obsession. But I really enjoyed it; it was my favourite out of this month’s prompts.

      • Wow. Thank you. I really appreciate the feedback. This is actually a back story for a character I have had in my head for quite a while. Hoping maybe someday it’ll be part of a larger work.

    • Well done! Sad, but unfortunately plausible, ending. I knew Bailey was a guy from the beginning because of your note but I think you’ve done a good job of revealing it gradually to the reader. The reference to “ala Slash” took me out of the story a little and made me want to Google “Slash,” but the story was compelling enough that I just assumed it had to do with the hair and kept reading. What will become of Marc and the piano, I wonder?

    • Nicely done – a topic so many young people struggle with. I think the theme that stands our for me is brought to the fore at the end – loneliness. . .

    • Jennifer this was a really poignant story full of so many different emotions – at first the nice feelings with Marc’s crush who we only see briefly but seems nice, to Marc’s elation at his performance on the field despite not being a soccer fan and then the utter sadness and hopelessness of Dean abandoning the boy he should be looking after. A strong story arc which seems extreme but is sadly all to real in this day and age. This has real potential to move forward, potentially as a longer YA piece, chronicling his difficulties as a young gay man. That would serve as something very important, I think, to young homosexuals and heterosexuals who want to know more, alike. Well done!

  • Oh no! I worry for her. Your lipstick story reminded me of an opening scene for the TV show Law and Order: SVU. And either the next scene would be her being found by the police and them trying to shut down this ring. Or her trying to find her cousin and things going badly. Either way it wouldn’t look good for poor Balbawa.

  • This was so sweet. I’m glad they came back for you it shows their love for you. I really liked the difference you showed between their youth and your age. We all get there eventually. It’s hard watching the young ones have the fun we used to and you showed it well.

  • I loved the rhythm and the feel of your sonnet. This line rung out to me, “and male voice choirs weave hymns in four-part braids.” I went oooooh and had to re-read it because I loved the image of a choir weaving hymns in braids. Very nicely done.

  • Very nicely done. You captured the moment very well. The touch of the hawk squawking after the gun fires and the power of the last two lines was stunning.

  • Beautiful poem. My favorite rhyme was apprehension and dimension also making that my favorite stanza. Very nice.

  • Your sonnet is so very powerful. The imagery of trying to save someone from drowning only to have them slip away is so painful. I found tears in my eyes after reading this. Willing your own breath to someone else and hoping they live is something I’m familiar with. In my case she is still with me, but I understand that feeling. So beautiful.…[Read more]

  • A very powerful and much needed message especially in today’s times. I would suggest you add a language warning for those with sensitivities to harsh language.
    My favorite line was: “Let’s kill these fuckers with kindness and love”. It really grabbed me. I thought, oh my God what is she advocating for here? until I finished the line and thought w…[Read more]

  • I loved your images. Those poor sunflowers beaten down by the rain. We’ve recently had a lot of those interesting evenings brought on by terrible storms. I loved the bees just hanging out with you in your garden. This was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.

  • Nicely written. Very picturesque. My favorite line was “Diamonds peek through the waters crest”. I could picture those places where the tips of waves or ripples are diamond-like in their shine and appearance as you’re drifting along.

  • I loved your tribute to your iPhone family members. Such a humorous take on the sonnet. Well done.

    Kim, I’m with you. Android all the way. – Written on my Android phone. 😉

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Jennifer Bozarth

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@dahlia47

active 19 hours, 3 minutes ago