• Thank you for taking the time to explain – I wasn’t aware of Joseph the Priest and Mary Magdalene – I only know of Joseph/Mary as Jesus’s parents so that’s prob why it was so confusing with the names for me lol, and oops I thought all the Shimon was the same person…

    It’s prob smart not to include Yeshua’s POV since he’s the “mystery” in your…[Read more]

  • Ah that makes sesne, It’s my lack of knowledge when it comes to heirachy.

    Others don’t seem to have a problem with the service. I just have a tendency to skip details when I read… I think that’s why in my own writing I tend to skip the setting or other descriptions – which I didn’t realize until 52S and get the feedback, and learn about…[Read more]

  • Now that you mentioned it, I vaguley recalled a fishing scene… but we’re talking about a year ago when I read that lol.

    In addition to history/reigion, geography is also not a strong strength of mine, so Galilee/Capernaum/Migdal/Nazareth… I hace no idea where every town is and how far apart they are lol. But again it’s more of a me problem…

  • I don’t think there’s right or wrong way to do internal thoughts, as long as it’d done in a consistent manner. You’re right that Theodorus is prob too shock to have an immediate reactin! And he’s been portrayed as a thoughtful/thinking type so it’s likely that he’d analyze the situation after the fact.

  • Yes now looking back I guessed it was Yehoshua. For some reasons though I thought  Yehoshua was much older… maybe because he had a following? I don’t remember if in the earlier scene his age or description was mentioned (if you did, I’d forgotten) so if it wasn’t previously disclosed, perhaps some clues could’ve been dropped?

  • Finally!

    You know, I never knew what Jesus had siblings…

    I am curious, throughout the story, Shimon Kepha was referred to as Shimon only; but in the last few scene you referred to him by his full name, and in this particular scene, Kepha was used instead. Is there an explanation?

    I am also curious about the time frame betwee this scene…[Read more]

  • Phew! As you know, not being familiar with the chruch titles and history and all that, I wasn’t sure if Martinus was “dempoted” by Theodorus, but the end made it claer. Clever of Theodorus.

    When the other presbyters followed Theodorus, it made me wonder if they knew Martinus may try something, so they were there to protect Theodorus?

    I…[Read more]

  • Oh interesting twist!

    “He spoke, “We are afraid to go out. People recognized Shimon as one of Yeshua’s followers” –> who is “He”? I thought it was Shimon speaking at first but then he wouldn’t refer to himself in the same sentence?

    Did Miriam go with them? Doesn’t seem like so? Maybe close to loop by saying she’d still stay here? But if she…[Read more]

  • Poor Theodorus, so misunderstood.

    I have to admit I got a bit with Athanasius and Martinus sometimes and can’t remember who is who and if their title/positiosn differ… but I blame it on my memory.

    Glad to see more Tehodorus’s internal thoughts – though the use of “I” “me” seems a bit jarring mixing in with 3rd person. I don’t remember how…[Read more]

  • “…As a priest, I cannot be that close to a dead body.” –> didn’t know that, interesting.

    Others commented on short sentences, I didn’t even notice. But that could be because I prefer short sentences, and usually notice long senteces instead (and wish they were shorter.) Guess we all have our preferences!

    The young man in white at the e…[Read more]

  • I hope I didn’t offend by comparing to a tabloid – but just to say it keeps the readers engaged and wondered! 🙂 I often have to google when reading a book or watching a movie/show to see if it’s based on a true story or not… 🙂

  • Since I am not familiar with the bible apart from they key events, I didn’t know what’d happened to Yehudah. I wasn’t sure if he was going to hang himself, or use the rope to do something with Yehoshua. I think once you add in more emotion/reaction from Yehudah, it’d be more apparent –> at times I wasn’t sure if he’s remorseful? Or indifferent?…[Read more]

  • Lots more questions raised to get us engaged! I read your comment below on how you came up with this story idea. You definitely had done a lot of research and thinking! It’s a fun experinece for a reader when it’s hard to distinguish what is true and what is made up (I mean, think about it, that’s why tabloid magazines are so popular, when…[Read more]

  • This was an intense scene.

    1) The soldier held his burnished vambrace before Yeshua’s face and saw a mist appear. –> I didn’t understand what was happening at first, then looked up vambrace, then had to think a bit to understand that the mist meant Yeshua was still breathing. At first the mist came out from the vambrace as a weapon or s…[Read more]

  • This was a touching scene – we rarely saw Theodorus getting emotional, so for him to lashed out at Martinus, he must have been deseperate.

    I was also a bit surprised by the timeline – 30 years since Theodorus met Helena? Wow.

  • This was a fast scene to read.

    1) Why was Yeshua blindfolded for the 2nd witness but not the first
    2) I’d love to see a bit more reaction/emotion from Yehudah when Yeshua was whipped. I know he kept wondering why Yeshua didn’t speak up, but how did Yehudah feel? I know you were probably limited by word count.

    Sorry to take so long to come…[Read more]

  • Phew! What a wild ride! Congratulations on finishing – and sorry again for not reading earlier but I’m glad I made it!

    There’s a lot going on in this scene! But I know you’re limited by word count and prob didn’t have much space to expand on the ending (like I want to know what happened to Thomas and Beth after! 🙂 That’s a good sign right,…[Read more]

  • Oh no! Poor Gus! And the serum!! You’ve definitely set up some cliffhanger for the last scene!

    Worry to see Gus go but it’s fitting for the genre I guess 🙁

    I know you said that Gus was an unplanned character, and was created only because of the “August” prompt. I almost wonder if what it’d be like if there had been some flirty scenses…[Read more]

  • How many secret supply rooms are there behind hidden panel? 🙂 I feel like I need a map/diagram of all the places to see if I am picturing it right! But maybe it should be included at the end of the book as a validation, rather than included in the fron to spoil the story?! Or if you every decide to publish, the readers can get the map if they…[Read more]

  • Oh forgot to add that I was a bit surprise by what Beth did to Marin with his throat – but maybe I shouldn’t!

    I was also a bit confused at first that Martin was the one who whispered first, then told Beth not to make too much noise when she was trying to move… maybe when she moved, she made some sound that’s louder than Martin’s whisper? Or…[Read more]

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Christa L

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