fbpx
  • Moving story with Chlarissa at the end of her tether with no where to go. Will her life improve? Are the flowers for good or bad? Tell us more.

  • This is beautiful. You showed life on every level at its darkest and most tragic to the beauty, light and hope that ultimately gets us through. I am so sorry for your losses, sadly those are things that never go away. There is such power in the resilience and love of a family and may yours keep shining on. Perfect.

  • Oh, this is hilarious! A culture that crosses countries and continents is a beautiful thing! I have seen bits of Never have I ever but will hopefully watch the whole series soon.

  • Hi Kim, you plunged right in with powerful, visceral descriptions which I must admit confused me a little until the cause was revealed. Personally I felt that although the first part and description were excellent the second half was were I became completely immersed in the story. Once Pieter regains consciousness and a supernatural ghostly force…[Read more]

  • Thank you. Yes, the typos have a tendency to breed! I am pleased you found Liyana interesting as I have wanted to introduce her for awhile and am still wondering if she will be an indulgence on my side. Glad the story kept you gripped.

  • Thank you so much Amrita, kind as always! Loved your prompt to publication feature, inspiring reading.
    I was worried the whole thing was a bit of a mess as I had a few things I wanted to include and hoped the detail did not bog it down to much and prevent the story moving forward. Its always a fine line with detail as I feel I enjoy if it gives…[Read more]

  • Huge apologies for getting back to you so late, work life bad comms getting in the way ! Thank you for taking the time to write such extensive feed back, it is appreciated and as usual you have got it right on the nose. I have been thinking about a few of the characters for awhile and have only now been able to introduce them, some will be…[Read more]

  • Wow, you take us on a journey. A sad, bitter upbringing with the unexpected redemption and contentment only for the hammer to fall at the end. Real, raw and authentic.

  • This is wonderful, funny and beautiful all at once! So many clever, humorous lines which made me smile ‘‘important’, AKA the cousin of a friend of my mom’s niece ‘ been one of my favourite. We have a large Indian Durban community in Durban, South Africa and it is interesting how certain cultural references can be apt from continent to conti…[Read more]

  • Its interesting how we can have presumptions of people we share history with. School friends know so much about us as they know our history, I like how you showed this. In fact it seems although they are ‘friends’ they may not even like each other much but a shared past keeps them in contact. Tahir does have slightly unrealistic expectations of…[Read more]

  • I enjoyed this other world and its interesting inhabitants. Very entertaining.

  • Wonderful fairy tale, extremely well told. I loved the simple concise language that allowed the story to flow from beginning to end. Great work!

  • Detective inspector Kimberly Reese Jones arrived home as the last trails of pink light left the sky. Her plans of searching the hidden room at the Masondo mansion abandoned. Recent developments needed to be […]

    • I’m so glad you continued this.
      you are definitely laying the scene for something explosive to be revealed – and with Zak back, hopefully he will shed some light on his whole disappearing act etc?

      the only thing I’m unclear on is wrt plot: you spent a lot of time giving the backstory of her tenant and equally on Sharice and women’s plight wrt unwanted babies? I can only assume, given the importance given to them in terms of content these threads play significant roles in your plotline? For now, in this episode, it is unclear if they are central to any mystery concerning the original murder , but hopefully no character is introduced without good reason.

      the writing can be tightened up some, when you have time for a fresh edit eg ‘ Kimberly picked up the first’ would read better as Kim picked up the first photo from the pile.
      ‘and surprisingly an uncomfortable looking Constable Sadie Jones’ – might flow better as ‘ unexpectedly, Const SJ followed in L’s footsteps, looking uncomfortable to be intruding in Kim’s pvt space’ …or some such

      still, I am thoroughly enjoying everything this story has to offer – onwards and upwards!

      • Huge apologies for getting back to you so late, work life bad comms getting in the way ! Thank you for taking the time to write such extensive feed back, it is appreciated and as usual you have got it right on the nose. I have been thinking about a few of the characters for awhile and have only now been able to introduce them, some will be integral to the main story and others are part of building back round and detail. In terms of the the story surrounding abandoned babies this was mainly to give back round to the type of things/work police an social services would deal with on a day to day basis in South Africa. I had taken a break as my original idea had a rather large plot hole so a little making up as we go happening! Also agree comments re-edit as I struggled with work life balance just before deadline day. Thanks again.

    • HI Catherine,
      I love detective mysteries. The pace here is slow, even when she discovers Zak standing in her kitchen, which made me sit forward and wait for the reaction. That was a good way to hook me. It may be fun to start from the misplaced doorstop and then back up to a few minutes earlier, so the whole time the reader is eagerly waiting to find out the reason.
      The backstory on Liyana was interesting and I am patiently waiting to see how the threads tie together. You are pacing this very well. There are some typos here and there, but you can get them on your next edit.
      Really interesting scene

      • Thank you. Yes, the typos have a tendency to breed! I am pleased you found Liyana interesting as I have wanted to introduce her for awhile and am still wondering if she will be an indulgence on my side. Glad the story kept you gripped.

    • Hi Catherine,
      I couldn’t stop reading! Oh you will make for a brilliant thriller writer…no flattery there! You pace your story narration and the plot details so minutely, it just seems like all this is actually happening somewhere. This was refreshingly real and yet the suspense was biting. The photo detail shows that Sadie isn’t a resource to throw away. She actually has her mind in the job. I do sympathise with Kimberly and Zak though. Some powerful and intense conflict coming up there. Also, all those details about child abandonment in SA, I had no idea about all that. Thank you for sneaking in all those details. This was one immersive read! Thank you for sharing!

      • Thank you so much Amrita, kind as always! Loved your prompt to publication feature, inspiring reading.
        I was worried the whole thing was a bit of a mess as I had a few things I wanted to include and hoped the detail did not bog it down to much and prevent the story moving forward. Its always a fine line with detail as I feel I enjoy if it gives a good picture but not so heavy that a reader is bored. Your feedback is much needed and helpful.

  • Thank you so much for your kind words Ellen. Much appreciated.

  • Thank you so much for your kind words.
    I am pleased it came through as I really wanted to show how we all have to carry on for multiple reasons, practicality and survival being the foremost but deep down we are fundamentally changed. These stories often help me process unresolved thoughts and emotions, I am grateful for this out let and group…[Read more]

  • Thank you Amrita, apologies for the delayed response. Thanks for spotting cup board I stared at it for ages trying to work out what was wrong! The mind can be strange at times.
    Yes, grief is one of our biggest burdens and something we will all face at one point but somehow this never prepares you for its depth. Thanks again for your kind words…[Read more]

  • Load More

Catherine Garden

Profile picture of Catherine Garden

@cat

Active 1 month, 3 weeks ago
Short Story : 5
Poetry : 0
52 Scenes 2022 : 0