Oh, the early 20s can be such torture. I like the contrast of content to rhythm, the anguish related in a jaunty rhyming. The twos and the toos are effective. Well done, with the poem and the climbing up and out.

Oh, my goodness. This is a sad but relatable piece. Twenty-two is a crappy age. No longer a child, not quite an adult, hormones raging in a sensitive soul. Nothing is our fault, everything is our fault. Crazy year that twenty-two.

I had to look up a deuce deuce. Interesting word. I’m happy you didn’t use it.

Happy Holidays!

Hi Brendon, a powerful and painful poem. Your line ‘My father called, I didn’t listen,’ hit me hard….well done….also your closing line into which i read hope ( i hope)….peace.

Hi Brendon,

What a tale – I hope the narrator has recovered from the addiction. It’s a very strong poem with disturbing images, emphasised by the persistent -oose rhyme of deuce duece, loose, obtuse, noose. Thank you for sharing it.

That is the way it happens generally A true picture

Hi Brendan,
A good dose of advice for us all, neatly packaged as an acrostic. Thank you!

I am sure Mia will appreciate this as do I. Sound advice…Write On For The Art.

Oh my goodness Brendon! Other than the ‘son’ I will say thanks for writing this poem for me. 😆

This was great and spot on with how I feel every day. The piece flows and I liked the rhythm, seeing myself in each sentence.

Great poem. Well done and thanks for sharing.

Enjoyable…I laughed out loud at the “eating a sandwich meat first” line, and can’t get ‘limerick or a sonnet, Bro get on it” out of my head. Just a fun batch of lines…nice job!

Hi Brendon, I couldn’t disagree more with the thesis of your poem but I would defend to the death your right to express this opinion. Well done for sharing it. Now duck the brickbats.

I like the juxtaposition of ironies at the outset, but I don’t see the tie to the rest of the poem. Your use of rhyme is good. Often it can make the poem seem sing-song. Here it works. I think you earned the conclusion, which is much less concrete than the rest of the poem. (I would put the closing quotation mark outside the period–that’s the convention in American English. I don’t know your background, though.)

Hi Brendon. I like the way your poem portrays the way a person finds it difficult to voice the enigmas of life. I agree that the first couple of lines are not really part of this poem. Perhaps they could form the start of another one?

Wow…there is a great deal going on in this soul. I feel the weariness.