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  • Thank you! Yes, I feel it’s a sign of our times. A constant fear of missing out which can and does ruin what you already have.

  • Thanks. Actually, I always wondered about the song “Babooshka,” how the wife managed to get her husband to have an affair with her without him realizing it was actually her (the song was pre-internet, mind) so I wanted to do a reverse scenario with modern tools which might justify how the other one didn’t know. But it opens a whole other can of…[Read more]

  • Heh, yes, I would love to hear how that went down!

  • Thanks, glad to hear it was a fun read 🙂

  • This was what I was hoping for! A little ambiguity to get a conversation started 😉

  • Yeah, I could see it was tricky to get it done but it very definitely paid off. And yes, I looooove dark stories, if you have more of them in you, I’ll be looking forward to next month!

  • Your story is adorable and it has lovely, fleshy characters, full of life, even the minor ones. I would advise to run your story through a grammar checker so you can get all the punctuation right, which is the one salient issue. As a personal preference, I would remove repeated phrases, such as, “we both use walkers to get around.” The word count…[Read more]

  • Wow, I didn’t expect this. It took me a bit to get into it but as soon as there was blood, it was gripping and satisfying.
    Also, it was a great decision to write the flashback in past tense and the present in, well, present. It lends an immediacy to its unspooling now, and a distance (physical and emotional detachment) from what happened then.

  • Ai is one of my favorite subjects. I love how self-aware it is and how it developed human qualities (love? affection? jealousy?) I kept reading, loving the introduction to this world, knowing the story would end soon and hating the fact that with every paragraph I was closer to an abrupt end. The end wasn’t abrupt, though. It was lovely, well…[Read more]

  • I agree, His husband should have shown you his hand more than just the teasing during the Pinterest scene. I changed three words in one of his texts and one word in the final sentence, hope that’s enough. Thanks for your comments!

  • Thank you, everyone! Yeah, it was obvious because I didn’t mean it as a twist. I had intended to do a modern Babooshka, but in reverse (this time the husband tempting the wife, appealing to what had attracted her to him in the first place). I wanted to spark some thoughts on “loneliness despite not being alone,” as well as risk-taking in times of…[Read more]

  • Wow, Stevie, this was compelling. You escalated the harassment and the tension in the piece steadily and deftly. I enjoyed your choice to do without quotation marks for dialogue because you have very distinct voices. There is never any question about who is speaking. And I appreciate you showing the ripple effect of one person’s actions, how it…[Read more]

  • Ah, love lost and found again. My kind of story. Great backdrop, too, I’m a big fan of Scotland and Ireland. The one thing that pulled me out of the story was the speed of the conversation vis a vis the speed of the coffee drinking. I feel one moment they received hot coffees, she prepared hers, then made to leave without even tasting it, but he…[Read more]

  • This was an interesting exposition. I enjoy it when I get to see two sides of the same story. Good idea, lovely development. The only constructive thing I have is that some of the sentences seem a bit clunky, such as “Giggling as she allowed him passed” or “It looks like losing his virginity has made him a little more chilled”, but all in all, a cool idea.

  • Meet me by the palm by Rebeca Barroso#Left.Left.Left.Definitely left.Left.Oh. A pause, thumb mid-swipe. She took her thumb off the screen and grabbed the phone with both hands, sitting up to take a closer look at […]

    • This is hilarious and soooo modern! I had my suspicions when they were talking about the patio which were confirmed at the end! What a great story. The grammar and setting and everything is just right. I love it

    • Such a fun read. I thought maybe her gentleman was her husband, but it didn’t take away from the suspense. I loved the save, save, save and clicking and chiming on her phone. I wonder how they explained themselves to each other. Great job. Thank you.

    • Oo- er, matron! Amusing story despite being a little easy to guess the twists. I couldn’t help wondering how they conducted their hook-ups before this (or was this the first time for her husband – and if so, why is he so tolerant unless he is also involved in a similar lifestyle).
      Great stuff with the phone actions – brief and to the point ‘save, swipe’ etc. Great use of prompt too.

      • Thanks. Actually, I always wondered about the song “Babooshka,” how the wife managed to get her husband to have an affair with her without him realizing it was actually her (the song was pre-internet, mind) so I wanted to do a reverse scenario with modern tools which might justify how the other one didn’t know. But it opens a whole other can of worms, of course.

    • This is good, Rebeca! I like the irreverent tone you gave the avatar of your protagonist 🙂 I kind of guessed it would be her husband, but it was fun waiting for the final reveal. In a way, it’s kind of sad, this situation where each is searching for something beyond what they have.

      • Thank you! Yes, I feel it’s a sign of our times. A constant fear of missing out which can and does ruin what you already have.

    • Thank you, everyone! Yeah, it was obvious because I didn’t mean it as a twist. I had intended to do a modern Babooshka, but in reverse (this time the husband tempting the wife, appealing to what had attracted her to him in the first place). I wanted to spark some thoughts on “loneliness despite not being alone,” as well as risk-taking in times of a pandemic by having the wayward wife be your POV.
      I really need to work on my delivery, then.
      At least I got you to enjoy the bits of humor in it, so that’s a win.

    • Hi! I liked the way you built this up. The real and virtual dialogues were great and the pace of jumping between them brought in the suspense. The actual misunderstanding was really clever (different kinds of palm). I read it as a simple twist on the online dating trope – predictable but a good rendition of the theme. But (picking up on your Babooshka comment at the end) if he was really testing her, then that’s a twist on the twist. For that to work, maybe you need one or two subtle clues to be dropped throughout? Just a thought. I found it very entertaining at face value.

      • I agree, His husband should have shown you his hand more than just the teasing during the Pinterest scene. I changed three words in one of his texts and one word in the final sentence, hope that’s enough. Thanks for your comments!

    • Hi Rebeca. Although I guessed the husband was the guy, I really enjoyed your story. The pacing was great and you have a lovely style of writing.

    • Hi,

      That was a fun story to read. Reminded me a little of the old Pina Colada song. Great pacing and the opening lines were great.
      I don’t think it was clear in the end if they were cheating or flirting with each other.
      Well done.

    • Kim replied 3 months ago

      this was fun.
      yes, pretty obvious the husband was her app date – I too, loved the way you showed her panic when scrolling through the app or on pinterest – all the cover-ups to facilitate her lie.

      perhaps if they DID actually meet at the correct intended palm , and the awkwardness that followed , would’ve been both a better vehicle for the horror and embarassment of that reveal.

      good one!

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