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  • Hi Marilyn, wow, great job! I loved this scene, especially the apparition of the well, uh, apparition (see what I did there 😂). The part about the burning sage making the ghost mellow is very funny. I’m really enjoying how you’re now infusing this murder mystery with humour. I also really liked the twist of Maria dating the late dentist…the plot…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much for the encouragement, Marilyn. I’m so glad I’ve made it this far, it definitely is a journey… I’ll see what I can do about finding you a body at some point, there will definitely be plenty enough of motives 😉

  • Hi Glen, thank you so much for your comments. I’ll definitely give the order some thought…
    I did have a dilemma with the number of guests. Boats would usually have more than 6 guests to make it profitable but as you said, I don’t think the story could have supported many more. Hopefully, I can make them work so that they all bring something to…[Read more]

  • Hi Sudha, great continuation to the story. I especially loved how you kicked this scene off. The way you built the tension in the first paragraphs is brilliant and I was on the edge of my seat. I also enjoyed the other elements of the scene (Al and her childhood) but I was wondering about the order you’re presenting them in. It might just be me…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much, Sudha. That’s really interesting about the meaning of homely having negative connotations, I might have to rethink it and maybe swap it for something like ‘cosy’. Thank you for all the positive and encouraging feedback, I am very grateful for it 🙂

  • Ben Hunt and Profile picture of SMSM are now friends 5 days, 10 hours ago

  • Hi Adam, I am delighted to meet your third character and intrigued. The three of them are so different, it makes for such a promising story and I genuinely cannot wait to see how their individual storylines are related.
    You’ve done such a great job of describing Nicholson in both appearance and character. I have just one tiny comment. After the…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much, Adam. Now that’s interesting, Momo as the friend character… 🤔 I was planning for Willow to fill that role originally but now that mention it, Momo seems to be vying for that job and the cogs in my brain are whirring…that could work really nicely indeed. Thank you

  • Hi Nina, thank you so much for your comments. I had to make a quick dictionary check on this one (English is not my first language so I do still make the odd mistake and I’m grateful when people spot them) but it turns out that in this case ‘homely’ is the British way of describing cosy and comfortable surroundings whilst ‘homey’ is the American…[Read more]

  • Hi Becky, I really enjoyed this new story (although I did like Cindy and her grandma too so I hope you do keep them for another time). The conversation/banter between the sisters flows really well and I loved the little details you’ve added to the descriptions like the halo slipping on the angel’s eyes and the little family tricks, like moving the…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much Becky. I really appreciate your reading and comments, especially given that you took the time to go back (that’s dedication!) 🙂
    Good point about the meeting. I’m finding that this scene needs so much more added to it (for example I didn’t describe Jamar) but I’d reached 1500 already – not a problem I thought I’d have……[Read more]

  • Lol, I’d definitely buy yours! As for mine, I’ll just be super happy to get to the end of 52 weeks without getting tangled into too many nautical knots… 🤣

  • Thank you so much Deryn, I so appreciate that! I just hope I haven’t overstretched myself with my planned plot, subplots and this many characters…
    I did have that same thought when I wrote Kate’s musings on Momo’s family. I guess I need to make it clear she was thinking of being away from the love of one’s life and perhaps children, rather…[Read more]

  • Hi Deryn, love it, love it, love it! Fran is such an awesome character. I love her boldness, her confidence, how she assumes herself so well and takes no prisoners. Her decision to come out of the bathroom had me floored (in a great way!) and I was in awe of how she just moves on and doesn’t feel sorry for herself as she leaves, she’s amazing! The…[Read more]

  • Hi Sharon, sorry I’m so late to the party but I really enjoyed this, especially the transition from what started out as a familiar situation into something quite magical/supernatural? I really am intrigued by the boy and where the story will go, a great start 🙂

  • Hi Sharon, thank you so much for the read and the feedback. It’s wonderful to have another diver’s opinion on the story and yes, I’m afraid to say that I’m planning for Kate to have to deal with quite a few situations above and below the water… 🙂
    PS. Have you dived in the Red Sea? (I’m just really keen to have someone I can double-check my…[Read more]

  • Hi Glen, I’m really intrigued by Bobbie. She chased him, had her wicked way with him (several times) and stole his horse which indicates quite a woman and yet, she’s playing all innocent with him (both talking about her job and playing the needy girlfriend) – I can’t help wondering what she’s up to and cannot wait to find out…
    Love the town…[Read more]

  • Oh my gosh, Glen, you really cracked me up with this one 🤣 I liked everything about this scene, the image of Myrtle’s legs flailing on the ride in, the childish fighting, the leg-crossing episode (I think if Swing Rider ever gets made into a movie, no-one will ever again remember Kim Bassinger’s iconic moment after having seen Myrtle’s…) and of…[Read more]

  • Thank you so much, Glen. I really appreciate your encouragement. I just hope all my foreshadowing doesn’t leave me tied up in nautical knots later… 🤣

  • Hi Nina, I love the line ‘Shards of memory that cut the deepest.’ It sounds like Clarissa had dealt with so much and yet, I love how you ended this scene with her binning the past and moving on despite her pain. I have to confess that after your second scene, I am haunted (in the best possible way!) by the house they are moving into and I cannot…[Read more]

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Ben Hunt

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@benhunt

Active 13 hours, 30 minutes ago
Short Story balance: 0
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