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  • I really like your writing style!
    I agree that the characters are very likeable. Also, that tightening up the bits about the identity of Norma Jean/girl looking into car/girl on playground/Jimmy would enhance this even more.
    a couple specific suggestions:
    –First semi colon should be a comma, second could be a period in this sentence: “Ida…[Read more]

  • I agree with all of this! Great story, with potential to be even better.

  • Clever, I was wondering if that’s where the story was going! Well done. Some suggestions:
    –Several places need commas.
    –This could be reworded, what about it made him seem far away?: He sounded peculiar and frail, which gave me the sense he was far away.
    –You can’t technically silence something to a whisper, may use quiet or another synonym…[Read more]

  • The Meeting by Becky Crookham

    #

    A few people sat in a circle. The leader, “Eileen Waterman” according to her nametag, apologized for the necessary space between the chairs. “Under normal circumstances, we are a […]

    • Very good story! I can relate to the grief support meeting, having lost close family members suddenly, and I agree that the pain of missing them never goes away, but gets easier with time. I also like that you mentioned Bill turns to listening to a particular song to help him through his grief. I do this too, and it does help. Also, I love that you added a transgender person, Kevin, who has lost his only supporter, his aunt, and how hard it is for him to go through transitioning from female to male without her support. Someone very close to me in my family is transgender and you do a good job of showing how difficult it is and how important it is for that person to have support. Conducting the meeting during COVID was a challenge, but well done too. Great story—very emotional and real.

    • Hi, Becky,

      This storyline holds a lot of promise. The hope that one can take from a group like this – but you also hint at the very real possibility that the group discussions can simply become a ‘bitch fest.’

      The presence of a transgender person and identifying that their loss of people might be even more intense is brilliant.

      Thank you for sharing. The only thing I might mention is to include more dialogue in addition to Maisie’s inner dialogue,

      ~MP~

  • Thought provoking poem. Good insights, thanks for sharing

  • Becky and Elaine Dodge are now friends 2 weeks ago

  • Haha, you don’t think my author bio is the best line in your story???!!! just kidding, sorry about that.
    Maybe it was this one? “Behind me, my step-mother watches from the window. Her eyes widen while pointing towards the forest. “

  • Brilliant! You really brought the memories to life, and I like your creative approach to the prompt. You had a double bite, as well. -Becky

  • This is so clever! I love your interpretation of the prompt.

  • Great job capturing the essence of teachers.

  • a very contemporary piece! Clever, I like it.

  • Well done, very thought provoking.

  • Great job with your acrostic poem, I love how you expressed communication within a relationship within the bounds of this poem.

  • Mindfulness by Becky Crookham

    #

    Meditation

    Inquisitiveness, Inhale

    Nonjudgement

    Discern the Distraction

    Focus

    Understanding

    Letting Go with Loving-Kindness

    Notice

    Experience, […]

    • Hi Becky

      I saw what you did there with a few of them. You had a double bite. I like your style!

      Nice work.

      Martin

    • I love how you portray the process of mindfulness as well as the results. This is really good, a reminder that I need to practice being mindful more often myself. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi,
      What a marvellous poem that incorporates the tone and feel of the act of mindfulness.

    • Hello Becky,
      Your acrostic is a good recipe for life as we should live it. A good selection of powerful words.

    • Yes, very nice, a peaceful moment captured.

    • Great poem Becky. I could feel the release during meditation and you picked a stunning picture to go with your freeing words.

      Your words flowed easily and gave me a light feeling.

      I think I need to go and meditate now.

      Well done and thanks for sharing.

  • Becky commented on the post, Area 52 by Gold 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    If you want a few editing suggestions, you can fix these:
    and my friend had decided it was *up to end* my dating failures.
    Arabella didn’t *see think* her single status was the same as mine.
    techno music that *blaring* out from overhead speakers

  • Becky commented on the post, Area 52 by Gold 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    I can relate to that feeling of being out and wanting to be home curled up with a book! You did a great job setting the mood and leading up to her encounter with the devil. Well done!

  • Jes’s comment isn’t showing up on the site, so I am pasting it in for reference:
    Hi Becky! I never thought of you writing science fiction, it felt science fiction to me. Overall I liked it and the characters. Sounds like us, lol, complaining about the pandemic. I like this line you wrote best, ” A collective gasp arose from Area 52.” I liked it…[Read more]

  • Becky commented on the post, 52 by C Alexis 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    This is so poetic, I love the alliteration and your careful selection of words. I love it! Because it was so well written, this one line sticks out as not beloinging to this particular story: “So, let me guess, you have no idea what must be done as a stop-gap immediately?” I suggest reworking that piece of dialog. Otherwise, I love the mystic, h…[Read more]

  • I guess I am too much of a rule follower, lol. The directions state “Post only the story.”

  • Great story, I have so many questions! About the boby parts being found, the pod people vs the robot people… Great use of the prompt!
    some editing suggestions:
    –Comma here: Sheriff Adley felt his fifty years, having spent most of the day in the sweltering heat.
    –Remove “rather here: But Adley decided rather to investigate due to a strong…[Read more]

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Becky

@bccrookham

active 6 days, 4 hours ago
Short Story balance: 2
Poetry balance: 4
WTC balance: 4