Hope you’ve recovered from your surgery!
Some difficult issues they’re dealing with. It’s getting tense.
I think this section is pivotal: When regular human functions fail, the medical community has some background on how to handle that. When technological malfunctions occur in the human body, it’s anyone’s guess on how to fix it. They all see…[Read more]

Meant to say – sorry I didn’t manage to read this last week!

Aha! This makes the big picture a lot clearer. I’ll have to read it again a few times to get the full implications. So sorry if my first reactions are ill-informed!

It’s an interesting twist that the situation is being engineered to encourage the belief that Originals aren’t human! Challenges my mindset. The red pill was a great way to reveal…[Read more]

Thanks, Rebekah – that’s encouraging. They’ll be on their separate ways soon I think!

Thanks, Jacquie – I laughed at the Jakey connection – and thanks for the warning; I won’t try it on you! I’m glad you think things are moving on. I’m not sure how good Hemal’s intentions are but his motivation is certainly more complex than it seemed at first!

Thanks, Beth. That’s encouraging! I definitely do feel clearer about the story.

Hi Deb – that’s good to hear. Yes, it’s all getting more complex. I’ve developed the theme of competing projects because it’s necessary for the ending, but I’d like to seed it more clearly in the rewrite. Glad you’re still interested!

Thanks, Rebekah – Good point. I think I’ll have to wait till I get to the end to know!

Hi Deb – brilliant action – brought even more to life by the vivid descriptions. What a gripping sentence: Failure and desperation spiraled in her chest, tangled in her lungs. She struggled to breath.
The gore was just right. I hope Corryn’s hand can be re-attached despite the cauterisation!

Only one small point – in the paragraph starting “…[Read more]

Yes, it is indeed! I think it will be hard to go back and decide which darlings have to be murdered to keep the plot coherent. Of course, there’s no rule that says the re-write has to be restricted to 52 scenes!!

Well, isn’t that just the million-dollar question – who deserves to be called human! I suppose I was thinking of Corryn as having had her early memories fabricated – but maybe they were uploaded – in which case is she a ‘branch’ of John rather than a replica? This is for me the difference between an iteration and a twin. Both of them are…[Read more]

Wow! Roark inside Anders’ head as he shifts into his cougar form. Very clever. I assumed the Kelly/Fletcher switch was deliberate on your part to indicate all isn’t going to go as smoothly as we hope. This is powerful and tense – I can feel the pace building. Really well written as always. And good to see Roark maturing even further, including the despair.

Oh no – I can only imagine Magali’s anguish after all Treena’s warmth to be reminded that she still thinks she and Euan are an item! A great scene. As always there is such emotional warmth – and this is reflected in the physical surroundings. You created the atmosphere vividly. Also, Treena’s views on abortion give a balanced counter point to…[Read more]

Thanks, Jacquie, I’m glad you’re enjoying the ride! Your confidence is very encouraging, and your words are kind. I think I do know where I’m taking you now, but I didn’t at the beginning. Which could explain why it’s taken me so long to get to this point. I don’t think I’d properly looked at the Plotting model Mia gave us! I probably need to get…[Read more]

Thanks, Deb – helpful stuff. As I said, Mia’s session has made me realise I may have got the plot points in the wrong places – probably because it took me a long time to settle on what it was all about. To be honest I’d forgotten about plot points and the diagram! Anyway, I’m glad you’re still enjoying it. I will definitely do some of the…[Read more]

Hmm – you’ve made me think. I guess I did take a long time to get into it – and I might end up having to rush the ending. (Having been to Mia’s “Plotting the End” session, I think she might agree with you. But all I can do now is to keep going and adjust things in the rewrite. Very helpful, thanks.

Oh you must do the rewrite – there’s so much potential in your story! It was great to see you at Mia’s session – though I felt a bit disheartened by what she said as I think my plot points are all in the wrong places and I was planning to commit one of the cardinal sins for the ending. 🤔 But all I can do is write the story that I’m writing and…[Read more]

First, can I say I don’t think there’s anything boring about your descriptions – they’re very vivid and really draw me in to the setting. But I can appreciate that you want to vary things.
Given the huge transition Corryn has just been through, being in her head is probably the only starting point. It’s not boring. I like the way you show her…[Read more]