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kmayque and
anjum wasim dar are now friends 2 weeks, 2 days ago
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, A Sweet Billet Doux by Anjum Wasim Dar 1 month ago
Insha Allah
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, A Sweet Billet Doux by Anjum Wasim Dar 1 month ago
Thank you
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anjum wasim dar wrote a new post, A Sweet Billet Doux by Anjum Wasim Dar 1 month, 1 week ago
A Sweet Billet Doux by Anjum Wasim Dar
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Almighty all powerful is one
He loves the number two
In humans He created pairs
In animals and birds tooIn dealings fair in justice rare
one zebu cannot the well, […]-
A lovely poem of faith and devotion in the Lord. It reminds us to thank the Almighty at the end of this eventful year for all that we have, but take for granted,and pray for a peaceful and healthy year ahead. Happy holidays and see you soon in 2021!
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Insha Allah
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I adore the peacefulness of this poem. I had to look up billet doux. I am going to use this word,(love letters) so sweet. I’m going to save this word for myself.
Great piece.
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Thank you
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, FIREHEART: TWO by Lourens Lukas Moorcroft 1 month, 1 week ago
heavenly divine imagery, a shining celestial poem
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Salvation by Poem Crush 1 month, 1 week ago
Light is the ultimate truth. A beautiful poem of Life transformation and reality.
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Duality by C Alexis 1 month, 1 week ago
a true reflection of human wants and wishes
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Binary Brain by Elizabeth Strehl 1 month, 1 week ago
a rose without a thorn,
a love without scorninteresting style and poetry of pairs
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anjum wasim dar wrote a new post, The Black Bundle by Anjum Wasim Dar 1 month, 2 weeks ago
The Black Bundle by Anjum Wasim Dar
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“To begin with my life with the beginning of my life, but no, I am in deep grief, my spirit is drowning, I feel it up to the neck, I realize now the magnitude, the huge m […]
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Oh, such a sad story. The emotions in this piece are palpable. And the ending is perfect. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although I do feel that you should tighten it up a little. I know word count can be a challenge but now you are free to do some editing. 😉 Otherwise, it’s a strong, emotional piece. Thank you for sharing.
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I like how the mysterious story from the past haunts him and ties to the present pandemic. It keeps a darkness looming over the piece. Very Edgar Allan Poe like. The ending is perfect, and although I should have suspected it would end with his death, it still caught me by surprise. Well done! As Fizza said, the emotions are palpable. The grammar, however, is a bit awkward at times, making the speech feel unnatural. I’d trim to make the wording more concise.
Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed the philosophical discussions throughout. It felt like these helped to develop the characters. There were, however, several sentences that I had to read again to understand, and I think it comes from grammar missing. My tip would be to read the sentences out loud and where you hear yourself naturally pause, add a comma. Keep writing and good luck with upcoming months.
Karisa -
Indeed your story is very concentrated, full of philosophy and therefore I found some of it hard to understand as you were trying to cram so much in such a short word count. I think you may have found it easier if you had outlined one philosophical premise rather than over complicate the story with so many. What came alive for me was the story that is told. That was beautifully told and I wished more of that. I think there may have been a way to set the scene with the two friends and expand more the told story (even with dialogue breaking it up and so making it easier for the reader to understand. But overall I leave with a very strong image of the dark bundle and the grandmother. Powerful image. Nicely done
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, A Pony for Christmas by Dionne Foley 1 month, 2 weeks ago
fantastic ending to a lovely story
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Celestial Significance Karisa Dubuque 1 month, 2 weeks ago
what a lovely story, well related,capturing the love and emotional state of admiring the wonders of nature-beautiful
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Hyped by Cinthia Albers 1 month, 2 weeks ago
action packed so true to social happenings, indeed no hype, well attempted.
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Hobby by Naila 1 month, 2 weeks ago
sometimes difficult but decisions made prove to be the right actions to save lives. Well written in dialogue style.
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Reasons To Feel Grateful by Katharine Short (kittykat) 2 months, 1 week ago
effective guideline in poetic form
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Baby Shoes Remember by June Hunter 2 months, 1 week ago
forceful tragic and cutting poem
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Remembrance by C Alexis 2 months, 1 week ago
images and facts reveal current situation well composed
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anjum wasim dar wrote a new post, Dedication to Unforgettable Jamie Dedes by anjum wasim dar 2 months, 1 week ago
Dedication to Unforgettable Jamie Dedes by anjum wasim dar
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J just the right response at the right time she would give
A amiable approachable though unseen and far away
M mature in understanding hum […]
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Beautifully written acrostic poem.
Sorry for loss of your friend.
Wanda -
I’m not sure who Jamie Dedes is. If a friend of yours, then you have done her proud with this poem. So well done on that count. I’ve noticed a typo I think: ‘with a seep sense of humor’. Did you mean ‘deep sense’. Also, I feel that the poem could do with a bit of punctuation here and there. Well done and thank you for sharing
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This is a beautiful eulogy for your lost friend. I hope you gained comfort from composing it.
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Oh wow Anjum! I had not known that Jamie had passed. I followed her on WordPress and submitted to the Bezine on occassion. It is great sadness that I read this, but a beautiful tribute to her that she would appreciate greatly.
This line struck me with her essence:
empathetic ever ready for support though in need herselfWell done and thanks for sharing.
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the line that sucker-punched me in the gut was ’emerging bravely, surrendering to divine will’ – it seems such a contradiction but there is a whole underlying story in that one line. my heart is sore just reading it – knowing that it takes courage to submit to that call .
please read Frere Dunnes poem Osiyeza – you will surely find comfort in her words ❤
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Sounds like Jamie was a wonderful person. Great job, Anjum.
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Poetic Development by Liz Elfring 2 months, 1 week ago
Good effort for acrostic form
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, AUTUMN IS BEAUTIFUL # by Wanda Lovan 2 months, 1 week ago
lovely flow of thought a true acrostic poem
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anjum wasim dar commented on the post, Deadlines for Writers by Brendon Garner 2 months, 1 week ago
That is the way it happens generally A true picture
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Membership Level: 12 Short Stories in 12 Months