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AV Harris commented on the post, PW 85 by AV Harris 5 days, 16 hours ago
I’d like to say I did that with the dialog on purpose, but they’re probably just typos. I don’t like too much space on the page when people are talking and jamming the lines together is habit.
I’m not sure anyone is supposed to enjoy it. It’s an analysis of grief and it was a result of being trapped inside for months. Maybe when I can go outside…[Read more]
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AV Harris commented on the post, List: Short Story Goals by 6 days, 16 hours ago
Those are some very specific goals. 1000 words a day is ambitious!
I have to admit that if I were to attempt to handwrite anything, I would spend so much time interpreting my notes that no new work would ever get done. I admire anyone with the fortitude to do that.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Consider by Dana Ellis 1 week ago
Ignorance is not bliss, eh? Nicely stated.
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AV Harris commented on the post, If You by EsterS28 1 week, 1 day ago
Just a couple of suggestions. See if you can get some cadence into the lines to create some momentum. Find some way to connect the lines either through internal rhyme or other sounds of the words. I think it has to be “catch my eye” unless eyes has some special meaning. Otherwise, it provides a good sense of feeling.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Modern Mage by AV Harris 1 week, 2 days ago
It was written before the next prompt was announced. Sonnet is my preferred form so another this month is no problem!
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AV Harris commented on the post, Perplexing by Estelle Westley 1 week, 2 days ago
Very playful. I like rhyme too.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Attraction By Brandy Mansfield 1 week, 2 days ago
I like the imagery of light/domes and levels with the fish.
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AV Harris commented on the post, The unsolved by nainasays 1 week, 2 days ago
I like:
Every time the leaves
Murmur your name
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AV Harris commented on the post, Untitled by Sarah Wunder 1 week, 2 days ago
Nice. It definitely evokes a feelings of mystery.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Enigmatic by Jodie Howe 1 week, 2 days ago
You have definitely captured the not-so-great part of marriage or a relationship. I think you could have left out some of the “clarifying” phrases like “void of anything” as the leading line provided a good picture. Sometimes more is truly less.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Enigmatic by Gretchen Robinson 1 week, 3 days ago
I agree. The re was no need for those lines. It was an interesting take and it evoked something of you in a punchy way.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Enigmatic by Cinthia Albers 1 week, 3 days ago
I like the repetitive end words. They give it momentum to the ending.
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AV Harris commented on the post, Enigmatic Ohm by Kristen M 1 week, 3 days ago
That is nice!
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AV Harris wrote a new post, Modern Mage by AV Harris 1 week, 5 days ago
Down the golden bridge rides the modern mage
Through the haze and into the ring of light
To summon and exhort a mindless rage
That casts enchantment and calls for a fight
Against the tide and demands […] -
AV Harris commented on the post, Unavailable by AV Harris 1 week, 6 days ago
Great advice. One thing I’m terrible at is sitting on a piece for a while before I decide it’s ready to show. I definitely could/should have done what you say! This was one of those times where I got on a roll and everything just flowed out as I watched the character count. When I typed the last line, I’m thinking, “nailed it!”, but nothing is…[Read more]
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AV Harris commented on the post, Unavailable by AV Harris 1 month ago
Thanks. I figured 500 words was short enough to maintain that perspective. Don’t know if I would try it on anything longer!
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AV Harris commented on the post, Unavailable by AV Harris 1 month ago
Thanks. Denied access to the account and to his life. It really came together. I wish it did as easily in longer stories!
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AV Harris commented on the post, Retired by Sharmayne Riseley 1 month ago
That was very good! I completely agree with Ruth about your descriptive capabilities. You gave a great feeling for being in that kayak with the narrator. Everything moved well and nothing felt drawn out.
I think you could improve it by tying in the retirement thing a bit more with the sense of this being a new journey after a life of work and…[Read more]
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AV Harris commented on the post, OUT OF THE BLUE by Ruth Nolan 1 month ago
I was a little confused about the surprise triathlon mostly because I can’t imagine ever doing something like that on the spur of the moment and living through it! The middle section got a little hazy for me regarding who was doing what and what the medal was for.
Aside from that, this is a nice story. The names intertwining (I get it, twins)…[Read more]
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AV Harris commented on the post, Movie and Books by OtterSilver 1 month ago
It’s an interesting scenario. A little more description would flesh it out as a more realistic place. Also, you don’t need to use the names as much in the dialog because that makes it sound artificial.
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Membership Level: Level 8 | Write the Crap Out of It
AV-I like the character you created in this piece. Each part flows to the next and gives a sense of what he is about but still leaves us with the unanswered questions at the end. I really liked the imagery throughout as it brought to life the situation. Thank your for your poem.
Hello AV,
You’ve jumped the gun and written a sonnet this month. Well done for mastering the rhyme and rhythm of it. And for writing about this enigmatic magician. It’s a pleasure to go back and re-read it.
It was written before the next prompt was announced. Sonnet is my preferred form so another this month is no problem!
I was enthralled.
I did go back and read again.
I am not a poetry person but I am loving this section of Deadline for Writers.
Thanks for writing.