I’d like to say I did that with the dialog on purpose, but they’re probably just typos. I don’t like too much space on the page when people are talking and jamming the lines together is habit.

I’m not sure anyone is supposed to enjoy it. It’s an analysis of grief and it was a result of being trapped inside for months. Maybe when I can go outside…[Read more]

Those are some very specific goals. 1000 words a day is ambitious!

I have to admit that if I were to attempt to handwrite anything, I would spend so much time interpreting my notes that no new work would ever get done. I admire anyone with the fortitude to do that.

Ignorance is not bliss, eh? Nicely stated.

Just a couple of suggestions. See if you can get some cadence into the lines to create some momentum. Find some way to connect the lines either through internal rhyme or other sounds of the words. I think it has to be “catch my eye” unless eyes has some special meaning. Otherwise, it provides a good sense of feeling.

It was written before the next prompt was announced. Sonnet is my preferred form so another this month is no problem!

Very playful. I like rhyme too.

I like the imagery of light/domes and levels with the fish.

I like:
Every time the leaves
Murmur your name


Nice. It definitely evokes a feelings of mystery.

You have definitely captured the not-so-great part of marriage or a relationship. I think you could have left out some of the “clarifying” phrases like “void of anything” as the leading line provided a good picture. Sometimes more is truly less.

I agree. The re was no need for those lines. It was an interesting take and it evoked something of you in a punchy way.

I like the repetitive end words. They give it momentum to the ending.

That is nice!

Great advice. One thing I’m terrible at is sitting on a piece for a while before I decide it’s ready to show. I definitely could/should have done what you say! This was one of those times where I got on a roll and everything just flowed out as I watched the character count. When I typed the last line, I’m thinking, “nailed it!”, but nothing is…[Read more]

Thanks. I figured 500 words was short enough to maintain that perspective. Don’t know if I would try it on anything longer!

Thanks. Denied access to the account and to his life. It really came together. I wish it did as easily in longer stories!

That was very good! I completely agree with Ruth about your descriptive capabilities. You gave a great feeling for being in that kayak with the narrator. Everything moved well and nothing felt drawn out.

I think you could improve it by tying in the retirement thing a bit more with the sense of this being a new journey after a life of work and…[Read more]

I was a little confused about the surprise triathlon mostly because I can’t imagine ever doing something like that on the spur of the moment and living through it! The middle section got a little hazy for me regarding who was doing what and what the medal was for.

Aside from that, this is a nice story. The names intertwining (I get it, twins)…[Read more]

It’s an interesting scenario. A little more description would flesh it out as a more realistic place. Also, you don’t need to use the names as much in the dialog because that makes it sound artificial.