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  • Thank you Jennifer – so excited to help these two characters evolve – with the help of this lovely encouragement.

  • Dear Peggy – what a memory! Yes, they had a past and will have a future. Thank you for encouraging my idea. You are my biggest inspiration. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Thank you Pam ;-). Gruff and Ajien started their journey more than two years ago, with more explanation in previous pieces… but life interrupted writing. Ahhhh glad you also like my Denisovan man!

  • Hi Mark – yup, as I remember your writing ๐Ÿ˜‰ . That twist at the end! Casual but tense – I enjoyed your Jewel. Annalie

  • Shoh, Zilla, even I have forgotten I wrote that at the inception of Covid! Thanks for reading. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Thank you Jane. This motivates the muse to continue…! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Becky, ‘random dialogue’ kept me glued. So much information – I loved it. Nice twist to make this knowledgable child sit on the spectrum. Excellent dialogue.

  • Love this genre, Susan. And you captured it so well. What an ending !!

  • Thanks Becky – it’s an idea I’m toying with … to use real archaeological finds as material for intertwined lives that could co-exist. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • Thank you for stopping by Susan and for helping me believe that this format can work!

  • Yes! Love the end, Pam. Brilliant (like diamonds) take on the prompt. The flow made me think something biographical? Well done on packing so many facts in this wordcount. I enjoyed your piece. Annalie

  • Powerful! From start to end. This is beautifully written and had me riveted.
    Annalie

  • I enjoyed this Peggy! Relevant, even though the genre says science fiction (love the genre BTW!) Your story spell bounds. I like your place and ocean names. Nostalgic for a future generation, I bet. Will have to visit archives to see the rest ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Annalie

  • A feel good ending – thank you for sharing Christy. I picked up a little mishap, which disturbs the flow of your story ever so slightly ( i.e it’s not a disaster!)
    “some people just didnโ€™t couldnโ€™t help but show off” – maybe use only ‘didn’t’ or ‘couldn’t’ ?
    “In realized in retrospect, sheโ€™d always” – not sure exactly what is meant?
    But other…[Read more]

  • Goosebump stuff Zilla – I read it twice and only then did I pick up a few “autocorrect” errors. Nothing big as I missed it the first time ;-).
    “It can from the South Americas” … should read ‘came’
    “lay it in the bottom of my small bag, and through the gloves on top”… should be ‘threw’
    But I loved your story and I enjoy the genre.
    Thank…[Read more]

  • A gleaming squiggle catches his eye. His free hand shoots out, misses the target. Gruff grunts. Runs his fingers through the mud, sometimes more than food hides under the roiled floor of the sea. Then he feels the […]

    • Annalie, this story is enchanting. Producing the same story from two perspectives in a way that works so well is no mean feat, especially given the word count. And tying the science fiction to a believable historical artifact enhances it beautifully. All that with a romance, a description of how two cultures could interact and a telling social comment – well, I loved it.

    • Hi Annalie, I enjoyed being swept away by your story. What an interesting twist to have the man making a necklace similar to one she was familiar with having been discovered as an ancient artifact. You did a great job showing us each of their perspectives as the story is revealed, and showing us their relationship and the outlook of their future together. Well done!

      • Thanks Becky – it’s an idea I’m toying with … to use real archaeological finds as material for intertwined lives that could co-exist. Glad you enjoyed it.

    • Hi Annalie, I agree with Becky and Susan, this is an enchanting and different story. I really like how you have done it, from both perspectives and blending the future and the past. A clever idea indeed:) Well done.

    • Hi Annalie,

      I really enjoyed your most unusual story. I love the words you used to describe the motion of the sea, ‘roiled’, ‘rolling water storming’, ‘wash and tumble’. I love your take on the juxtaposition of a contemporary (or perhaps futuristic) woman vs a cave man from another planet or another time perhaps, and the idea of co-operation for survival. It speaks to twenty first century people as our planet is challenged by climate change etc. I love a good love story too! What a sweetheart is Gruff! Ajien should keep him. ❤️

      • Thank you Pam ;-). Gruff and Ajien started their journey more than two years ago, with more explanation in previous pieces… but life interrupted writing. Ahhhh glad you also like my Denisovan man!

    • Do I remember Anjien and Gruff from your stories of early last year? I’m certain the storyline must be the same, just can’t remember the character names. I remember how much I enjoyed reading those stories, and I had just as much enjoyment, if not more, reading your story today with high hopes that it will continue! I love the premise of this story, as much as I love the differences between the two characters, he being primitive, she from a high tech world without her technology. I love that they’ve learned to communicate, to learn not just that they need one another, but that they may even come to desire and find strong emotions for the other. Oh, I’m just in love with this story!!!

      • Dear Peggy – what a memory! Yes, they had a past and will have a future. Thank you for encouraging my idea. You are my biggest inspiration. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Oh, what a beautiful start a new year of stories. I have always enjoyed your use of different perspectives and your detailed and multi-dimensional characters are a joy to read. Thank you for a wonderful first story and I hope to see much more of these two.

      • Thank you Jennifer – so excited to help these two characters evolve – with the help of this lovely encouragement.

    • Youโ€™ve done a wonderful job of weaving in the details of the apocalypse and the world before in your story. Nice layering of details into your story. I could feel the water and the waves. Well done and thanks for sharing.

    • I have just rejoined the group after 2 years away. I have now read 3 stories and none of them referred to the prompt JEWEL. Am I missing something? I know there is a necklace in the story, is that enough of a reference to JEWEL. I am just wondering for future stories. Evon

      • Hi Evon, I have lapsed into lockdown and not contributed for the past 2 years, but I do remember from way back that the actual word of the prompt doesn’t have to be mentioned as long as there is a general hint in that direction… I might have it wrong, maybe post the question on the FB group. But I purposely avoided the direct use of JEWEL in this piece.
        Hope it makes sense?
        Annalie

    • Annelie!
      I am so glad to see you back here…it’s been too long.
      Hopefully the farm and your creche of grandkids won’t keep you away from us for so long again 😄

      I remember this unusual pairing from before , also around a campfire but the object was different then…not a necklace. If I could figure out the black hole that is our Archives I would go look for it ,but I’m afraid the archives tab is above my pay grade and skill-set.

      I enjoyed her POV more, perhaps because thru her perspective you can articulate more of the story,whereas in his perspective your narrative is limited to his ‘primitive’ viewpoint ie grunting sounds, and scene setting without using advanced descriptions. It’s a tricky balance and you have to be very disciplined to ensure you remain in each characters range of expression. I recall saying much the same as last time.

      Again, huge potential in this and I will follow your journey in this world with interest , I am intrigued to see how you will merge two very disparate viewpoints ,style and language to form a cohesive plot. Bravo for taking it on 👏👏

      • ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Hi Kim – I sent you a long reply-email! Thank you for the welcome-back-enthusiasm xx
        I also enjoy Ajien’s POV more – it’s easier …but it is a challenge to keep the two perspectives real
        Thank you thank you for stopping to read and comment. Means a lot to me xx

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Annalie

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@annaliek

Active 1 year, 7 months ago
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