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  • Swirls of colour

    A sense of space

    Bright, twinkling lights, 

    The night sky gives

    Drawn into the landscape by the curve of the road

    Eyes find comfort in the fiery glows

    A stroke of calm as night tales are […]

    • Love it

    • Hello Angelique, nice work on this poetic form. I like your art choice and rhythm in the poem. I love the opening line with “swirls” and I love this line “Light takes away darkness”, instead of the other way around. 😉 I’m glad I’m reacquainted with your writing. Well done.

  • I love the banter between Millie and Ronald. Every town has a busy body and you’ve captured her so well. Great dialogue throughout.

  • This is such a sad scene mainly because we know the disappointment that will follow. Great writing and descriptions this week.

  • Yowzer! Great scene! It’s packed with emotion and tension and all the rest of it. I can’t wait to read on.

  • I love this piece. I think you’ve really captured how Eira would want to hide her ability especially when she describes how people would line up to get healed. Nice work.

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    Evie hunched over clutching her knees. Her hair fell forward as she rocked gently. A new boy was coming today, she thought angrily. The house she lived in now was situated in a lovely tree-lined street in a […]

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    Chavvas felt like a heel. He wasn’t used to having the upper hand in any situation- his life had been more about staying to the side, being invisible, not drawing attention to himself. Now he had put hi […]

    • I liked the backstory of Chavvas – intriguing and very well written. The paragraph with his mom returning home after a nightshift is particularly good. You could feel the desperation. You always manage to end on a cliffhanger so that if I had access to the whole lot, I would definitely be telling myself I’ll read one more chapter and then one more after that… so you have quite the talent for keeping the reader wanted to find out what’s happening next. Enjoyed the scene.

    • An excellently crafted scene. It is really good to learn about Chavvas and some of his earlier trauma, enabling the reader to feel some empathy towards him.

    • Cheryl replied 3 days ago

      Nice scene, well written. It was an interesting back story on Chavvas. I was confused when it said he was five years old, but he didn’t go to the orphanage until he was a teenager. Other than that, I enjoyed the scene.

    • I’m always torn between when it comes to Chavvas.
      Sometimes I want to to punch him he’s such a heel and then this week I felt sad for him.
      This back story was so well told seeing that there is not much dialogue.
      Great – See you next week.

  • This is a great piece. There’s good contrast in the scene between the lovely tea and the sadness of the story of Muzi. Nicely done.

  • I love this! It’s so sweet and I love how Seona communicates with animals. You’ve taken something imaginery and made it quite normal. Good writing!

  • Damn! How I wish I could turn the page right now. I have to wait a whole week for the next installment? Nooooo! Excellent scene. Well done.

  • Hells bells! And here I was waiting for an update on David and Wham! you got me again. Excellent scene. I love how the rest of the family is carrying on relatively normally while there’s chaos everywhere else. Nicely done.

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    Now it was Jewel’s turn to blanche. “That’s a lie and you know it.” 
    “Doesn’t matter. I’ve invested too much in this to fail now. All the years having to claw my way up the ladder to success and now I’m on […]

    • Nice scene. It was a good transition into her memory of her first week of being in a big city. Good descriptions and dialogue. I liked that you dove more into Jewel’s background.

    • The back story came at just the right moment, it’s beautifully done.
      This is actually a heart wrenching scene, very well told.
      I feel for Jewel and Mama L – Life can push you to places you never thought you would go.
      Well done – lovely read this week.
      See you next week.

    • I read this the day after posted but only now coming back to comment! That goes to show am hooked – read it on my phone to get next instalment but didn’t have time to comment.

      The writing is great and Ester / Jewel’s innocence is portrayed really well.

      One comment – Mama L and Chavvas both show as complicated – they do bad things out of self-interest but feel regretful – Chavvas feels bad resorting to blackmail; Mama L feels bad about Ester being sold to be a sex worker. I get that it has realness as nobody is black and white but could potentially have one of them be completely bad? Eg Mama L almost sneering at Ester because she is bitter about her own life experience. Again I see that you have Marty as a baddie in that he sold Ester so it may suit you to have characters who are not ‘all’ bad – just a thought.

      The scene is very good and great to get the backstory and understanding on how Ester / Jewel ended up having to go to AA. I enjoyed it.

    • hello Angelique. I actually read this last week but didn’t respond with voice recognition my apologies. I find this a very powerful scene and really enjoy the complexity of the characters, with Jewel as the young, naive and trusting Amish girl thrust into a world of damaged souls. As the reader I feel much compassion for her and her Likely plight Now that she has entered the whorehouse. Well done on conveying this all with your skilled writing.

  • That’s awful! And unfortunately our history is peppered with bad experiences like this. Great writing. You convey the awkward tension very well.

  • No! This is crazy! And now I have to wait for the next one in a week’s time?!? Great tension in your piece!

  • I love that you’re bringing in the back story of Blue. Also, now Angie does not seem quite so crazy to me anymore. Great writing!

  • I like this part – there’s not too much action-sometimes the reader needs a calm spell. There’s good flow and pacing in this piece.

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    Jewel stared at Maria, aghast. Her mind was working in overdrive. Chavvas had stolen the designs he was about to showcase? Was she really going to be wearing a dead designer’s vision for fashion? Maria lo […]

    • I like the description of Chavvas as a weasly man and nobody wanting to sleep with him – it’s good. The dialogue is good and believable that Chavvas thinks he has the upper hand. Great scene!

    • This is a compelling scene. Well done! The plot thickens….

    • Nice scene. The dialogue and descriptions were easy to follow and visualize. Well done.

    • Chavvas the weasel in a real pickle – but he’s an idiot.
      It was fast and pacy with excellent dialogue.
      Good work.
      See you next week.

  • Simply lovely! It flows so beautifully. What a wonderful sentiment-love eternal. Excellent piece. Thank you for sharing this.

  • This is brilliant. So clever!

  • I totally agree! As you age, life and emotions settle. It’s not a bad thing sometimes. ❤️

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Angelique Pacheco

Profile picture of Angelique Pacheco

@angeliquepacheco1

Active 12 hours, 9 minutes ago
Short Story : 4
Poetry : 10
52 Scenes 2022 : 21
52 Scenes : 2
Flash Fiction 2022s : 0
52 Scenes Rewrites : 0
Show, don't Tell June 2022's : 0