Life is strange many a times one has to face strange happenings.One side of life depicted well.

Well written Ana. I enjoyed how you explored your MC’s narrative through his experience and memory. Your tale took dark turns where insanity and corruption bubbled beneath the surface – threatening to explode into violence. In some ways, your story reminded me of David Lynch’s movie “Blue Velvet.”

Hi Ana,
I had started to read your story earlier but an awful migraine pain got in the way. I am glad I made it finally. There was so much pain in this. I remember the first story I read of yours…from then to date, your capacity to get inside the human brain and experience their feelings simply amaze me. How do you make it so poignant and gritty every time? You will make for an amazing directrix if you ever consider that as a career option. I loved how you portrayed the boy’s thoughts, him being forced to ‘man up’ in the cruelest way possible. The end was heartbreaking. A poignant story! Thank you for sharing!

Hey, again Ana and hope things get better soon. You’ve not allowed any of life’s pressures to affect your writing though, this tale took me into your main character’s head and you kept me there effortlessly. Reminds me how fertile a young male mind is, and how susceptible it is to the actions of male role models. The exchange in the car is positively painful as the lad tries and fails to please his father. The reason for the trip, the father’s coiled anger, and the sordid atmosphere at the parlor all seem to assure that this trauma is going to pass on a generation. I particularly enjoyed the internal monologue, and the descriptions of your narrator’s discomfort (‘…numbness is preferable to pins and needles’) says it all. I’m not sure you needed teh second part of your opening line (‘Car rides he remembers, therefore, with a special kind of vividness.’) It seems to dilute the effect of those opening words, somewhat. Well done with this, as with your other submissions. I look forward to more in 2022. Stay well and ‘aluta continua.’ Best regards, Seyi

Hey Ana, I always fascinated by father/son stories and this one is a cracker. I hope you keep working this as there is something really ethereal about the nature of this boy that I love. I want to know more about him, go deeper into this stifling relationship with his father and find out how it impacts him with friendships, school or other parts of his world. And the idea that he keeps being made to come back to this place would create this suffocating circular spiral that holds so much potential for a longer piece. Well done and thanks for sharing.

This story is full of emotion and danger lurking everywhere for this poor boy. You did a great job of putting me into his head and really feeling his fear. I held my breath for most of this story; so well done. I particularly loved – the face of the injury he found somewhere in his past “must’ve looked a lot like me”.

Dear Ana,
Sorry to hear you’ve been having a hard time, but perhaps hard times are one of the things that makes a great writer. This piece is amazing…goes so much deeper than the circumstances might warrant. I love being inside Beau’s head as his father takes him away from his childhood into the parlor, as adult a place as i can imagine, and Beau isn’t ready. May never be ready, and may in fact be ruined by it. “Beau holds back the rage on his rosy adolescent cheeks while scratching his arm with rough, flimsy nails. The scratching helps soothe him: he knows how much safer it is to refrain, how much easier to chop off his anger, so that he can use the rest of himself–as if it were his sole life commitment–to bounce back and forth from the harsh elusiveness of his father’s moods, to unravel them, to name the pain he carries. ”
Would love to read more of this story. Hope life gets better for you!
G

Hi Ana. This is a very gritty piece of writing. As usual, your images are clear and so well done. There are some surprising bits too: ‘He enjoys being a goalkeeper: the roughness of it. Being stepped on the neck, hit in the face by the plunging impacts of leather ball and cleats’. Your work is excellent, Ana. Well done.