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  • Hi Deb I really enjoyed reading a piece of sci fi from someone who clearly enjoys writing this genre and has learnt the craft very well! I really enjoy the imagery you have created and can see things playing out so clearly in my mind.
    It is punchy and flows really well keeping you engaged right up to the end. Well done!

  • This story flows so well and had me reading alomg in that speedy way you do when you want to find out the end of a story (which doesnt always happen!).
    I had no idea where it was going to go, and although I eventually figured she is troublesome, you ended it in a way that wasnt the obvious one. Simply by her watching Kill Bill gave me an image of…[Read more]

  • Hi Deb thanks so much for reading and commenting. Im so glad you liked it…and really chuffed you felt it had a Hunger Games feel, I thought the same as I was writing.
    Yes the non compliers are just not complying woth chip implantation…which itself leads to being dispelled from society forever to a life at sea and losing contact with anyone…[Read more]

  • Wow thank you so much for your lovely feedback! I think I will give it a shot with the next prompt too. Thanks again so chuffed to see that youd read on! 🙂

  • Hi Bronwen I really enjoyed this even though I missed Estelle, this more than makes up for it. I didnt see the ending and especially loved the line ‘They never talked of the work they did in the shadows’. It would make a fantastic marketing line for one of your future novels!

  • Hi Bronwen thanks so much for reading and commenting and I’m really glad you enjoyed it!

  • The Price of Non Compliance by Amy Trakos#The frigate corkscrewed around and over the jet-black waves. Chemical-infested seawater burst through the back of the ship’s railings, spraying the quarter deck and h […]

    • Fascinating story, I love the countdown to the ending. There’s a great characterisation between the almost robotic bea in parts and the brooding Jay. As you can tell I thoroughly enjoyed!

    • Damn…. I hope you keep going with this
      I’d read the heck out of it

      • Wow thank you so much for your lovely feedback! I think I will give it a shot with the next prompt too. Thanks again so chuffed to see that youd read on! 🙂

    • Hi Amy, Great stuff! Sort of some Hunger Games vibe going on, I like it. You’ve obviously done a lot of worldbuilding, and I am so curious to learn more. What are the “non-compliers” not complying with? Just chip implantation? What are the capabilities of the chips? This was really interesting and read smoothly and quickly. I hope you continue with it!

      • Hi Deb thanks so much for reading and commenting. Im so glad you liked it…and really chuffed you felt it had a Hunger Games feel, I thought the same as I was writing.
        Yes the non compliers are just not complying woth chip implantation…which itself leads to being dispelled from society forever to a life at sea and losing contact with anyone staying behind (ie complying).
        The capabilities of the chips are immense and whilst I havent considered them all entirely, they include receiving all data, from conversations and heart rate to food consumed and literature read. They can also input data into the compliers, including ‘mood adapters’ and emotional tampering. A complier’s chip stores everything about them from helath records to criminal records and can be immediately looked at by the state with the press of a button. This means false information (including for example, crimes never commited) can be stored onto a persons chip in order to be able to take them into custody.
        Yes I think I will continue so I can give it more thought and see where it goes. Thank you again!

  • Hi Jennifer thans so much for reading and commenting. I’m so glad that you realised the irony of the girl who needed a lunch token had all the possessions she wanted, yet the girl with the rich parent obviously didn’t have the things she wanted, for whatever reason. I really wanted this to point to how different their parents were. It is indeed a…[Read more]

  • Hi June thanks a lot for reading and all of your very helpful comments which help a lot. I had hoped that in not naming all of my characters (only 2) they would be easier for the reader to keep track of but maybe its more a matter of just too many. I agree with the baby comment thank you. So at the very end, when the MC is 88, she is actually now…[Read more]

  • June, this is one of the very best stories I have ever read on 12 stories in 12 months. It is hugely emotive and takes the reader along on a ride, right next to the little girl and her friends. The eeriness you create in having people looking at her is lovely and also keeps you guessing as to what will happen next. The dad and aunt peggy twist was…[Read more]

  • Jennifer this was a really poignant story full of so many different emotions – at first the nice feelings with Marc’s crush who we only see briefly but seems nice, to Marc’s elation at his performance on the field despite not being a soccer fan and then the utter sadness and hopelessness of Dean abandoning the boy he should be looking after. A…[Read more]

  • Hi Michael it feels like a while since I last read about Jenvik (it was last month) and this has made me desperate to now go back to read all your installments from your werkly updates..now that time permits it more! With this story/installment I laughed a lot, the accents that your dialogue conveys at time is hilarious. Character names are…[Read more]

  • Randy this is a great, fast paced story with all the makings of a movie! The imagery was brilliant and I could see just about everything. There were a couple of sentences which I thought a little too long but it generally flowed really well. It kept me guessing throughout, right up until the end, an excellent and action packed piece full of…[Read more]

  • Del this is a fantastic story and I love how you have so beautifully managed to combined the joys and childlike pleasures of kite flying with ptsd related domestic abuse. Your pacing is brilliant, my own heart was beating as I read through this, especially the second half when Irealised what had happened and I felt like I was right next to Melanie…[Read more]

  • As ever, with your stories of Esther, a true delight. The more I read about her, the more I want desperately to meet this woman! This story in particular felt so poetic and the imagery, especially at the beginning, was just lovely. Well paced throughout and snappy and realistic dialogue as always. Well done and huge congrats again on getting…[Read more]

  • Hi Del thank you so much for taking the time to read and to provide such insightful comments which really means a lot to me as the original draft for this was created at the start of this year and I decided to look into it again in order to complete this month’s prompt. I agree that there is too much here to be crushed into this wordcount and at…[Read more]

  • Hi Bronwen John thanks so much for reading and I’m thrilled you found it compelling and could see the darkness of her mind as this was one of my chief goals. Thanks again.

  • Hi Randy thanks for taking the time to read and comment and I really appreciate everything you have to say about my story. I agree that I could have dwelt on certain things more and I did limit myself a little due to the wordcount and this was in fact half this length when I first created the idea at the start of this year. I love your idea of…[Read more]

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Amy Trakos

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active 1 week, 1 day ago