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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Arrivals and Farewells by Amrita Sarkar 2 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for the read and your your elaborate and wonderful comments! You made my day! I think I was in a lot of self doubt while penning this scene. You are right, Armaan predicting the attack by just seeing marks on Ishaan’s palm is a bit far fetched. I rectified the part. In future, Armaan will be more involved with the children…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Magpies by Rachel – week 29 2 weeks, 6 days ago
Hi Rachel,
That was poignant! It’s weird how the dead leave their memories behind and an entire can of ‘what ifs’ for us to ruminate over. You have captured Michael’s inner thoughts, insecurities and fears really well. I wonder if Fiona and he might ever get together. It’s really hard to stop feeling guilty for things we do not expect Life to…[Read more] -
Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, The Pumpkin Murders – Scene 28 – by Astrid Blume 2 weeks, 6 days ago
Hi Astrid,
i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter as you delve into Doris’s past and give us a glimpse of who she was and is. When I had started to read the series, it never occurred to me that Doris will emerge as such a significant character. But I am glad you saved her up as a surprise and now, she is turning the twists in the plot, if you get my…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Not too late by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks ago
Hi Astrid,
Rene isn’t dead – I know that’s a problem. Wicked people often have long lives. But probably something good might happen and certain things might fall in place as a result of her actions.I will look into the para you have pointed out, thank you for the suggestion. Thank you for your wonderful comments and the read! Hope to hear from…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Not too late by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks ago
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for your lovely comments and the read! I am glad that the story has managed to keep you engrossed thus far and that you are enjoying the tension. Be safe.
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Amrita Sarkar wrote a new post, Arrivals and Farewells by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks ago
“Hey darling,” Lisa looked at Insiya like someone looked at a home left empty for years. One that had nurtured and stored fond memories, to be remembered during times of distress. Rishi had brought the kids bac […]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, As Long As We Have Each Other by Jane Bradshaw 3 weeks, 2 days ago
Hi Jane,
That was such a poignant story and so relevant in the times we live in. I hated Ethan for the way he objectified Bethany. You have captured the blatant sexism and misogyny in his tone through the dialogues. I was glad when Bethany took a charge of her own life. Many times in life, women are often thought of as commodities and creatures…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, In Death There Is Life by SM Prasad 3 weeks, 2 days ago
Hi Sudha,
Thank you so much for your wishes! More power to your pen. Be safe.
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, In Death There Is Life by SM Prasad 3 weeks, 3 days ago
Hi Sudha,
That was such a hard-hitting story depicting the vagaries of Indian marriages. You manage to rouse sympathy for your characters. Indian marriages are indeed a fallacy. A rich NRI groom is always sought after expect for when they do not turn out the way they were expected to. And the stigma of divorce is too real. People in this…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, On the run by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks, 3 days ago
Hi Jane,
It’s great to hear from you and thank you for your insightful comments! I am glad that you liked the storyline. Rene is a despicable person and the fact that her actions are attracting this kind of reaction is a success and relief for me. It gives me hope that I have been successful with my research on her character. I will keep your…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, On the run by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks, 3 days ago
Hi Maria,
Thank you so much for such lovely comments and the read! I am thrilled that you loved what you read. -
Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, On the run by Amrita Sarkar 3 weeks, 3 days ago
Hi Peggy,
Thank you for the read and the awesome comments! It’s so heartening to know that you are loving the action and conflict in the piece. Rene was a difficult character to write, and yes, since she is so different from anyone I know and so negative, I researched about women who have been in cases, accused of such crimes. I hope Rene gets…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, The Time Before by Peggy Rockey Part 7 – As Long As 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Peggy,
Whoa! Haemon is one diabolic character! You have done a great job sketching his character because the reader reacts to his actions almost immediately. I feel sorry for Fraea and am desperate to see where all this leads her. You portrayed the battle scene pretty well and the tension was palpable. I loved the emotional roller coaster…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Saul The Persecutor by Ana Diaz 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Ana,
I am reading one of your stories after a long time and it’s just as engrossing as the others were. You plunge into dark and deep human emotions so well. In the beginning, I thought that this will be a sad and happy kind of story. But as your story progressed the darkness seeped in little by little like ink on paper. You have an artist’s…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Lessons by Patty Panni 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Patty,
Oh, God! That’s such a heartwarming story! I love how you paint your characters. The timid Irish maid and her enlightened employer. I love how they found their calling in their shared lessons. The reading part was so poignant and yet it showed how far Matilda had come. In a strange way, it reminded me of Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Problems by Maria Kinnersley (Number 19 in The Messenger Series) 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Maria,
This story seems to get better and better! I am glad that you have created such delightful scientific and alien terms and the narrative is moving at a great pace. Vitora and Andy’s friendship will, I think, open up new avenues for both worlds. The cliffhanger was amazing and I am waiting for more. Awesome writing! Thank you for sharing!
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, As long as by Seyi 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Seyi,
Your stories are visceral journies into alternate dimensions. I was so drawn to every word…it created such powerful imagery full of synaesthesia. The opening para where you described the crowded street, was so visual and rich in descriptions. You have aroused the reader’s interest in the brass head and its powers. I wonder who the…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Education has no borders By Anjum Wasim Dar 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Anjum,
That was a detailed and elaborate piece on different aspects of education and everything attached to it. Great writing! -
Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Sacrificial Law by Hyle Post 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Hyle,
That was such an interesting story, full of surprises and yet poignant in its own distinct way. I love the bullet based narrative you have chalked out here. I love the fact that your MC shubs stereotypes and embraces a very human portrayal of a witch. I like the twist you introduce with the creature in the lake. It somehow reminded me…[Read more]
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Amrita Sarkar commented on the post, Gimme Shelter by Charles R. Bucklin 3 weeks, 5 days ago
Hi Charles,
That was such a heartwarming story! Old memories always give us something to feel happy about. I love your casual, conversational tone with which you describe the neighborhood and the inhabitants of the area. The mob story was a shocker whereas the story of the landlords was pure gold. Great writing! Thank you for sharing!
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Hi Amrita,
Something always happens in each scene you write – you do well in keeping the action going. Few surprises like Lisa moving out but done well. Re the marks on Ishaan – I’m going to play devil’s advocate and ask whether they really could tell by marks that he threw something heavy…it’s just a thought. Appreciate that you are keeping the explanation of what happened a secret for now and ‘reading’ the marks on their bodies is part of that.
Your dialogue is really strong as always and of course you ended on a cliffhanger so now I have to cope with waiting another week.
Some of your sentences are very poetic. I had one suggestion for a word choice – the use of the word eloped, I’d associate that more with two people running off to get married (then eloped with Insiya) – I wouldn’t use eloped in this context – something like ran off with or absconded might work better.
Some gorgeous sentences throughout – listed a few of my favourites below as some really lovely writing –
The pacing is good and again Rene is still hiding in the shadows which adds to the suspense of the piece. Great work!
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for the read and your your elaborate and wonderful comments! You made my day! I think I was in a lot of self doubt while penning this scene. You are right, Armaan predicting the attack by just seeing marks on Ishaan’s palm is a bit far fetched. I rectified the part. In future, Armaan will be more involved with the children and everything that happens to Rishi. I guess I was trying to provide a preview to that. But I will be more careful next time.
About swapping Lisa and Insiya, that was meant to be that way. Lisa had seen Insiya when she was a child and recalled what a happy place Rishi’s home used to be with her around. Hence the empty home reference. But I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you for such thoughtful words. Looking forward to hear from you again. Be safe.