fbpx
  • Hi Rachel,

    Thank you for the read and your your elaborate and wonderful comments! You made my day! I think I was in a lot of self doubt while penning this scene. You are right, Armaan predicting the attack by just seeing marks on Ishaan’s palm is a bit far fetched. I rectified the part. In future, Armaan will be more involved with the children…[Read more]

  • Hi Rachel,
    That was poignant! It’s weird how the dead leave their memories behind and an entire can of ‘what ifs’ for us to ruminate over. You have captured Michael’s inner thoughts, insecurities and fears really well. I wonder if Fiona and he might ever get together. It’s really hard to stop feeling guilty for things we do not expect Life to…[Read more]

  • Hi Astrid,

    i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter as you delve into Doris’s past and give us a glimpse of who she was and is. When I had started to read the series, it never occurred to me that Doris will emerge as such a significant character. But I am glad you saved her up as a surprise and now, she is turning the twists in the plot, if you get my…[Read more]

  • Hi Astrid,

    Rene isn’t dead – I know that’s a problem. Wicked people often have long lives. But probably something good might happen and certain things might fall in place as a result of her actions.I will look into the para you have pointed out, thank you for the suggestion. Thank you for your wonderful comments and the read! Hope to hear from…[Read more]

  • Hi Rachel,

    Thank you for your lovely comments and the read! I am glad that the story has managed to keep you engrossed thus far and that you are enjoying the tension. Be safe.

  • “Hey darling,” Lisa looked at Insiya like someone looked at a home left empty for years. One that had nurtured and stored fond memories, to be remembered during times of distress. Rishi had brought the kids bac […]

    • Hi Amrita,
      Something always happens in each scene you write – you do well in keeping the action going. Few surprises like Lisa moving out but done well. Re the marks on Ishaan – I’m going to play devil’s advocate and ask whether they really could tell by marks that he threw something heavy…it’s just a thought. Appreciate that you are keeping the explanation of what happened a secret for now and ‘reading’ the marks on their bodies is part of that.

      Your dialogue is really strong as always and of course you ended on a cliffhanger so now I have to cope with waiting another week.

      Some of your sentences are very poetic. I had one suggestion for a word choice – the use of the word eloped, I’d associate that more with two people running off to get married (then eloped with Insiya) – I wouldn’t use eloped in this context – something like ran off with or absconded might work better.

      Some gorgeous sentences throughout – listed a few of my favourites below as some really lovely writing –

      • Looking at like an empty home (might need to swop Lisa and Insiya’s name around as presume Insiya was looking at Lisa that way)
      • served as an emotional quarantine
      • have broken had he not sat there with him, holding his spirit together
      • avert the tension that fluttered inside her belly like a caged bird.

      The pacing is good and again Rene is still hiding in the shadows which adds to the suspense of the piece. Great work!

      • Hi Rachel,

        Thank you for the read and your your elaborate and wonderful comments! You made my day! I think I was in a lot of self doubt while penning this scene. You are right, Armaan predicting the attack by just seeing marks on Ishaan’s palm is a bit far fetched. I rectified the part. In future, Armaan will be more involved with the children and everything that happens to Rishi. I guess I was trying to provide a preview to that. But I will be more careful next time.
        About swapping Lisa and Insiya, that was meant to be that way. Lisa had seen Insiya when she was a child and recalled what a happy place Rishi’s home used to be with her around. Hence the empty home reference. But I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you for such thoughtful words. Looking forward to hear from you again. Be safe.

  • Hi Jane,

    That was such a poignant story and so relevant in the times we live in. I hated Ethan for the way he objectified Bethany. You have captured the blatant sexism and misogyny in his tone through the dialogues. I was glad when Bethany took a charge of her own life. Many times in life, women are often thought of as commodities and creatures…[Read more]

  • Hi Sudha,

    Thank you so much for your wishes! More power to your pen. Be safe.

  • Hi Sudha,

    That was such a hard-hitting story depicting the vagaries of Indian marriages. You manage to rouse sympathy for your characters. Indian marriages are indeed a fallacy. A rich NRI groom is always sought after expect for when they do not turn out the way they were expected to. And the stigma of divorce is too real. People in this…[Read more]

  • Hi Jane,

    It’s great to hear from you and thank you for your insightful comments! I am glad that you liked the storyline. Rene is a despicable person and the fact that her actions are attracting this kind of reaction is a success and relief for me. It gives me hope that I have been successful with my research on her character. I will keep your…[Read more]

  • Hi Maria,
    Thank you so much for such lovely comments and the read! I am thrilled that you loved what you read.

  • Hi Peggy,

    Thank you for the read and the awesome comments! It’s so heartening to know that you are loving the action and conflict in the piece. Rene was a difficult character to write, and yes, since she is so different from anyone I know and so negative, I researched about women who have been in cases, accused of such crimes. I hope Rene gets…[Read more]

  • Hi Peggy,

    Whoa! Haemon is one diabolic character! You have done a great job sketching his character because the reader reacts to his actions almost immediately. I feel sorry for Fraea and am desperate to see where all this leads her. You portrayed the battle scene pretty well and the tension was palpable. I loved the emotional roller coaster…[Read more]

  • Hi Ana,

    I am reading one of your stories after a long time and it’s just as engrossing as the others were. You plunge into dark and deep human emotions so well. In the beginning, I thought that this will be a sad and happy kind of story. But as your story progressed the darkness seeped in little by little like ink on paper. You have an artist’s…[Read more]

  • Hi Patty,

    Oh, God! That’s such a heartwarming story! I love how you paint your characters. The timid Irish maid and her enlightened employer. I love how they found their calling in their shared lessons. The reading part was so poignant and yet it showed how far Matilda had come. In a strange way, it reminded me of Roald Dahl’s Matilda, the…[Read more]

  • Hi Maria,

    This story seems to get better and better! I am glad that you have created such delightful scientific and alien terms and the narrative is moving at a great pace. Vitora and Andy’s friendship will, I think, open up new avenues for both worlds. The cliffhanger was amazing and I am waiting for more. Awesome writing! Thank you for sharing!

  • Hi Seyi,

    Your stories are visceral journies into alternate dimensions. I was so drawn to every word…it created such powerful imagery full of synaesthesia. The opening para where you described the crowded street, was so visual and rich in descriptions. You have aroused the reader’s interest in the brass head and its powers. I wonder who the…[Read more]

  • Hi Anjum,
    That was a detailed and elaborate piece on different aspects of education and everything attached to it. Great writing!

  • Hi Hyle,

    That was such an interesting story, full of surprises and yet poignant in its own distinct way. I love the bullet based narrative you have chalked out here. I love the fact that your MC shubs stereotypes and embraces a very human portrayal of a witch. I like the twist you introduce with the creature in the lake. It somehow reminded me…[Read more]

  • Hi Charles,

    That was such a heartwarming story! Old memories always give us something to feel happy about. I love your casual, conversational tone with which you describe the neighborhood and the inhabitants of the area. The mob story was a shocker whereas the story of the landlords was pure gold. Great writing! Thank you for sharing!

  • Load More

Amrita Sarkar

Profile picture of Amrita Sarkar

@amrita_sarkar

Active 7 minutes ago
Short Story : 7
Poetry : 0
52 Scenes 2022 : 29
52 Scenes : 2
Flash Fiction 2022s : 0
52 Scenes Rewrites : 0
Show, don't Tell June 2022's : 0
52 Scenes July2022 - June2023's : 0