Ooh, how lovely, gruesome and dark. My only tiny note, and this could be personal, is I would have left out mentioning hell. Otherwise, it’s a great first day on the job!

Wow, so cool… It felt way too short, I want more of this! The naked belly-against-ice will stick with me, what an image… I love reading your darker pieces. The ending wraps it up perfectly, no need for more. Love it!

Hi Amrita. It’s no mean feat to describe something so ghastly in entirely reasonable terms as though it were an everyday tour of ‘the office’. Phew! Very atmospheric, well done.

Oh wow, what a gruesome story and perfect depiction of hell. It works quite efficiently, it seem. 😉 I thoroughly enjoyed the imagery you have created in this short, vivid piece. What a brilliantly written story it is! Great work. Thank you for sharing.

So much gore! You got some dark humour in there too! I enjoyed the job spec. Funny how the MC finds it all horrific but does nothing to escape or distance himself, he gets more and more accustomed to it all as the story progresses.

Hi Amrita!
Long time, no see! 🙂 I haven’t participated in my 12 short stories in a while, but I may try again next month. I just wanted to read what everyone was writing.

This was dark and delicious! I’m a fan of horror, so I really enjoyed this. I also love the fact you used something other than aliens to write your Area 52 story.
The flow is nice and you’re very good with descriptions. One of my favorites being ‘An excruciating fusion of yells, screams, and howls involving different vocal ranges pierced my ears as we toured around the office.’
Your character’s internals were properly horrified as they wondered what they got themselves into. And it seems very appropriate that they didn’t speak much as they were shown around.
And I adore Ms. Chitra Gupta. She seemed like she was a lot of fun to write!
Great story!!!

What a glorious piece of gory story-telling! I love the little subtleties that you include – ‘your department is cooler than the rest of the office’, and ‘made my blood freeze.’ I have to wonder what this new recruit’s job entails. Very unusual take on the prompt. Well done!

This was freaking good, Amrita! So much imagination went into this, the sensory descriptions were excellent. I especially liked this line: They must have paid the artist really well because one could literally hear the grinding, pulling, and burning of human flesh just by looking at his drawings. 
It’s specific enough to let the reader draw their own images in their mind, which is what I find so compelling about this story. Great work, Amrita.

Hi Amrita,
I picked up on the Hindu Mythological references to Chitragupta and Mr. Y as in (Lord Yama)-so Chitragupta as the god of “justice” who keeps track of the doings of earth forms in a “book of deeds” and then refers them to the Lord Yama in the underworld. So a modernized myth form that was incredibly well done. I agree that you didn’t need to say hell because the readers have figured it out by now.
What is the significance of 100/3? Something infinite as in infinite burning?
I liked this description: “My hand felt like a minnow in his shark-like grip.”
An excellent story, your dark stories are really well done.

Hi Amrita,
Gosh, what a dark piece, but very well written. I had to smile though when you wrote about people naked with their bellies on dry ice, followed by the comment that it made the narrator’s blood freeze – good sentence. I’m so glad I’ve read this late afternoon. It’s the stuff of nightmares:-) Thanks for an interesting read.

Hi Amrita, really well done. Quite different from your usual stories:) I enjoyed it. The descriptions were awesome and made me feel like I was there. I loved how relaxed and matter of fact Ms. Gupta was, as though this was all very normal. I agree that perhaps you could remove the word hell, as it is good to leave a little more to the reader’s imagination here:)

A couple of small things:
They hadn’t mentioned in the ad that this was some sort of a vigilante cum henchmen unit. – Don’t think it needs the a – was some sort of vigilante cum henchmen unit.
Adam, the new in-charge of Area 52,” Ms. Gupta introduced me. I find this sentence doesn’t read easily maybe you could put ‘in-charge’ like this or in italics to make it stand out or use a different term, just to make it read a bit clearer:)

Awesome work, thanks for sharing.

Hi Amrita,
Wow what a story! It was funny when I discovered why her office was “cooler” than the rest of the building! I loved what you have done here integrating elements of mythology which work really well.
As to 100/3, I thought since 100/3 = 33.3 which is a multiple of 66.6 – a well know number associated with someone who might have a luxurious office somewhere near Mr Y’s office 😉
Beautiful writing in a very intense and engaging manner – thank you for sharing!

Hey Amrita, this was one delicious dark tale. I thought you did an excellent job creating atmosphere and tension. My only critique is after that terrific build up your story ends – with no pay off for the reader. It’s like part of the story got lopped off and we are missing the conclusion. Other than that two thumbs up for creating a suspenseful tale. 👍👍

Hi Jane,
Thank you for your thoughtful comments and the read! Your tiny inputs make me more aware about my writing. Really appreciate that. Yes, the word ‘hell’ will have to go, I agree to that. Will look into all the edits. I am glad that the visuals agreed with you. Thank you once again! Be safe. ❤️

Hi Charles,
Thank you for your wonderful comments and the read! I am glad that you liked the atmosphere and the story agreed with you. I am sorry about how you feel about the end. How did you expect it to end?

Hi Amrita – your imaginative take on this prompt: fantastic. Now I’m stuck with the difficult question: What must one do to enter hell as the section manager of area 52? Must you be very bad or just a little bit bad?

Hey Amrita and well done with this. I had a suspicion you had another level going on here and was at the point of searching ‘Ms. Chitra Gupta’. SM’s comments and your response clued me in and I am duly impressed. Pity I do not know much Hindu mythology but this could be a great intro. The descriptions are suitably painful to read and though I did wonder about the reason your main character got sent to this place and his / her fate afterwards, I can understand the impact of the word count. A ‘fun’ read (if you know what I mean. Best regards, Seyi

Now, that’s a retelling I enjoy. You’ve got a setting for another short series. 😉 Engaging and enjoyable (even if it makes me sound like a sadist).