Lost in Translation by Creese

The woods were more quiet than he had ever heard them.

Jacques had never been timid or anxious. In fact, most of his friends considered him intrepid and a tad reckless. But the silence in the midst of the trees tonight was… unsettling. He couldn’t hear a single animal sound. Usually, he would hear a mouse rustling in the leaves, an owl settling on a branch, a badger or hedgehog searching for grubs.

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7 months ago

Hi Chantel
Your subversion in this story is excellent. It’s something I won’t likely forget! Your structure and language are both excellent, serving their purpose. You must have put a lot of work into making sure everything served the correct purpose. I’m so pleased I came over to read your story. It did not disappoint in the slightest. Well done.

Member
7 months ago

Your twist reminded me of something you’d find in an old Twilight Zone episode. I was thinking how his cage reminded me of an animal in a shelter or lab, but thought it was a human/alien story until the end. I loved the line, “The air screamed with fear and there was a faint, coppery smell,” it really set the fearful tone. The paragraph after that started with “A slivery metallic glint”, thinking maybe you meant silvery, but either works as it was the wire. Well done.

Member
7 months ago

Whoa. I was into the whole alien abduction scene and then BAM! Well done. Super creepy.

Member
7 months ago

Your story keep me wanting to keep reading to figger out what was going on! Nice hook, suspense and tension.

It really changed perspectives on things, which weren’t disclosed until the surprise twist at the end. I was thinking it was a human abducted by aliens, for experimentation.

It made me think that all life is valuable! Even a rabbits!

Nice read!

Member
8 months ago

This was a very intriguing story. I enjoyed the twist at the end. I really enjoy reading your stories, keep up the good work.