Getting the Ingredients Together for a Hex by Angelique Pacheco

She giggles as she holds up the binoculars to her eyes. He looks frantic. A crowd surrounds him, some people are patting his back. The police have arrived. Some of them are interviewing passersby. The park is crowded today. They are sure going to have their hands full with this one. His shoulders are slumped...

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Lauren Benere-Forder
3 months ago

The pun at the end made me laugh–I would not want to be on her bad side. Thank you for sharing.

Teresa
3 months ago

Great story, Like how you wedged the prompt in at the end! But it’s really not over yet is it?

Paul J P Slater
3 months ago

Hi Angelique,
Great use of the prompt delivered with a pun.
I spotted a repeat of “she” in the opening line and wonder if you would be better off rejigging the sentence to avoid the repeat. Perhaps something like “She giggles holding up the binoculars to her eyes.”
Thank you for sharing.

Deryn
3 months ago

Hi Angelique – great twist at the end! On Paul’s point, I would also miss out ‘to her eyes’ since we know how to use binoculars..would have given you a couple extra words. But great job!

Seyi
3 months ago

Eish, this is deceptively dark. I wonder what she will do with Emily afterward? Can’t exactly let her go free to let ‘him’ know what happened? I enjoyed this tale in spite of the chill that hit me at the end. Well done and best regards, Seyi

Glen Benison
3 months ago

Hi Angelique, great pace and suspense……your opening line ‘She giggles as she holds up the binoculars to her eyes. He looks frantic.’ grabbed me right into the story…….i love the imagery and the giggle in this line: ‘brows are creased with worry. She wants to tell him not to frown. He’ll get wrinkles.’….nice one.