D-Day by R.L. Nel

Dawn has just lightly bruised the horizon when Lilly wakes up.

The realisation of what day it is immediately hits her. She pushes herself onto her elbows and glances at the time. On her bedside table, the alarm clock spells out that it’s still stupid o’clock in glowing LED numbers.

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Charles R.
10 months ago

I liked this story. Had a nice flow with a nice punchy ending. I’m not clear on Andrew’s character though. You write about the MC’s boyfriend being Jim and then for some reason she calls this new character – Andrew. Is he someone she is seeing behind her “boyfriend’s” back? Well it would seem Jim thinks so based on the story finale. Other than that quibble – a Well Done intriguing story.

Adam
10 months ago

Hi Rachel, I love the premise – that we all have a predetermined death day. My mother had a best friend and they were born, married, had kids, divorced and died on the same dates (some in the same years some different). Eerie coincidences. I think you’ve done a good job building the tension that keeps us reading to the inevitable grizzly end. Wishing you all the best with the story.

Paul J P Slater
10 months ago

Hi Rachel, I just love the reference to “stupid o’clock”. My daughter says that all the time.

As above I was confused about the boyfriend or the old boyfriend. Perhaps Jim could have been a Mary or some such.

I like the premise of the story, known day and month but not year and I am left wondering if it has legs for another installment.

Well done.

Cheers,
Paul

Delrae Goodburn Lurie
10 months ago

What an imaginative idea. The story was cool and as always your writing and descriptions are funny and on point. Great story. Goodluck.

Peggy
10 months ago

Oh Rachel, this was so good; you did such a great job building up the mystery and her paranoia, which became so clear as the story progressed. I didn’t have too much trouble understanding that Jim was an ex boyfriend, or if he wasn’t already he likely would be soon based on his texts, and I liked Andrew’s casual, caring nature. I hated the ending (because I didn’t want it to be d-day today), even though I rather saw it coming, but you executed it so very well. Brava!

K McLain
10 months ago

Great concept and execution…I particularly liked the way you turned several phrases (” a frisson is blooming in the pit of her stomach,” “stupid o’clock,” “beckoning to Lilly like ghost fingers”). Also “grey ticking”–I hadn’t heard that phrase, but I knew instantly what you meant. Just strong imagery all-around. Good writing and good luck!

SM Prasad
10 months ago

Interesting story with a great buildup of tension. I liked the little details of teen life, like checking that read notifications are off or that her boyfriend calls her “dude”. The death date was really interesting idea. I imagine that the MC may have a choice of what year, otherwise, why try so hard? Or maybe they don’t and it’s something we haven’t learned yet as readers. Of course, staying home isn’t the best idea, because what if there is an accident or fire?
I liked the ending where she is caught off-guard. That was cool.
I thought your story was written very well.

Martin
10 months ago

Hi RL

I liked this story. There is a sort of pending doom in it from the start that makes reading on non-negotiable. And that little twist at the end – excellent. I’m not much of a YA reader, but this was a good read.

Regards

Martin