Couples’ Weekend by HoneyMustard

  • : free form
  • : n/a

Comments

  1. Hardly Haiku

    Honey
    Beautifully written though very sad
    I liked the structure of the 3 short opening verses then the long verse at the end comes across as a continuous outpouring, a get it off your chest statement
    Well done

  2. Limor

    The chokehold of this pitiful union squeezes my heart. I feel suffocated by reading it, gasping for honesty and wanting to shake off the façade and shout something brazen in the face of it all. I want them to spend an hour with a widow, a night in a bed once filled by two, a walk on the beachfront alone AND then, still pretend that living without the other is an ‘option’. Sometimes we forget to remember that romance isn’t an emotion and that commitments need exhausting, tender care.
    Your poetry, bold and powerful, as always.
    HoneyM you are a fabulous writer, poet and oh, so much more. Carry on spreading your love for what you do and remember, there is more to it than the romance.
    L

    1. Honey Mustard Post author

      Hi Limor! Thanks for this. You should use that romance line of yours on Sarah! I love the strong reactions this piece has evoked in the comments. Thank you for always coming to look mine up.

  3. Christian Donovan

    Hi Hanri, I love the way you’ve told this story, finishing up with the impersonal breakfast table in some hotel / b&b. So realistic and heart-rending.

    Can I be an apostrophe nerd? I think your title should be Couple’s Weekend. To start with I imagined another couple barging into this dying relationship (as in Couples’). Sorry to be pernickety.

    I hope you have a wonderful festive season and that I’ll get to read more of your poetry in 2021.

    1. Honey Mustard Post author

      Hi Christian! Of course you’re right, she says, clutching her forehead. That apostrophe is in the wrong place! I’ll blame it on the end-of-year rush.Thank you for coming by to read!

  4. EDamonMitchell

    Hanri this is so real. So wrenchingly real. Every word, every line, perfectly chosen, beautifully written, cutting to the heart of anyone who has been on the road of a long-enduring relationship. I can’t pick out a favorite part; the whole of your work is thought filled and utterly moving. I do love the last stanza so. But the whole thing, again, is masterful. I’m left in awe, speechless. Thank you for this beautiful work.

  5. Kim

    A couple’s retreat away to rekindle their romance , but alas no hint of reconnection between those mundane objects that come to signify a couple’s life
    A simple,but sublime piece Hanei,well done ❤

  6. Jane

    Hi Hanri, I very much enjoyed your poem. This is definitely a common occurrence. But if one does not even attempt to rekindle the flame then it is will definitely be snuffed. However, this highlights that sometimes even with the effort it cannot be rekindled. And perhaps the hint of some adultery as well that is festering in the mind.
    Really well done, thank you for sharing:) Hope you have a wonderful Christmas:)

    1. Honey Mustard Post author

      Oh wow, Jane, that was a close read. Don’t you just love how different readers see different things. That is what fascinates me about being human, I suppose. Same good wishes to you. Thanks for reading.

      1. Jane

        Absolutely:) Poetry is amazing because of this. I guess a bit like when we look at a picture and see different things:)

  7. Debbie Gravett

    Great poem Hanri. I love how you use the pairs of things to symbolize them staying together because these things go together and compliment each other.

    The piece flows well and highlights an all too regular occurrence of couples drifting apart and their attempts to light the flames again or stoke them back to life.

    Well done and thanks for sharing.

    1. Honey Mustard Post author

      Hi Debbie, Thank you for coming by to comment. Yes, this piece didn’t work until I got the idea of the couples on the breakfast tray. Love that you noticed it.
      Best wishes