46-Final Message by Becky Crookham

  • : contemporary fiction. Also: mystery, family drama, alternate history.

Comments

  1. Maria Johnson

    I’m glad Maisie made the trip home for the day. I felt like this was way too important for a phone call – you started your book with everyone present, and I think this moment is bringing us back full circle.

    I like the way you have all the interruptions, the general conversation because in a room full of all of the family’s ladies, I do not believe the conversation would be all one-sided. I am a bit curious if the conversation about teeth will come back in some way, only because it is a longer exchange on one topic.

    I hope all the sisters can come to an agreement on Maisie moving forward. I feel like it will go her way (because duh, this is her story!), but I’m wondering at what kind of reasoning the different sisters will give for making the choice they each make.

  2. Ben Hunt

    Hi Becky, I enjoyed the reminiscing at the beginning about the talking stick and the Dad’s look – as always, the dynamics you show between the sisters are great. I have to agree with Sudha and Deryn about the teeth though. For me, it was the fact that we don’t know exactly how much Maisie revealed at this point so it felt a little frustrating that the attention was then somehow diverted away from the diary and what it revealed.
    Take it as a sign that you’ve set up the mystery in the right way – we want to know about the body! 🙂

  3. Deryn

    Hi Becky, I’m with Sudha on the long expostion of the teeth, it doesn’t really add anything that you havent already shown through the easy but sometimes pointed banter of the sisters and leaves this scene a little flat since the point is the reveal (or possibly the concealment) of facts by Maisie . I love the talking tscik by the way – me and my sisters had a pepper pot but we were all so keen to speak, it ended up a game of snatch and grab so didnt really work!!

  4. SM

    Hi Becky
    I’m a little confused by your story. I was looking forward to Maisie’s reveal. It’s definitely realistic that the conversation wanders and that the sisters interrupt. Also, Maisie is really excited to show them the journal that’s in the car outside. I don’t understand then, why we are reading so much about primary and secondary teeth including their embryonic development, and how that fits in with the mystery so far.
    Are you leading up to a clue that will be useful as the story goes on? If yes, perhaps we can get a little hint as to why this part of the conversation is something Maisie wants to pursue.
    I liked your characterizations of the sisters, the petty jealousies, and resentments. Very believable.